LO2

I'm a little (correction, a lot) drunk as I write this, so please forgive me if I seem a bit too blunt. In Vino Veritas.

I can't explain how happy I am that it's no longer 2003. I know it's purely symbolic, and nothing really changes with the shift of the calendar, but I'm happy nonetheless.

2003 taught me exactly what ambivalence means. I have never had more conflicting feelings in my entire life, and while I'm still not sure what to do with all of them, I really do pray that I never have another year like this as long as I live. Every good feeling came with a bad one, every resolution came with a caveat. I don't like living my life that way, and that's why I'm going to make some changes.

God as my witness, I never want to set foot in this town again after 2005.

To everyone that gave me support, in one way or another through this year, thank you. I can't thank you enough. I truly can't. Even when you were having a hard time understanding where I was coming from, you still tried to help. Even when your own problems were overwhelming you in ways you couldn't talk to me about, you still gave me time. That means so much, that I can't properly put it into words. For those of you who helped make my life the chore that it has been, to be blunt, you can fucking suck my farts in hell. You've taken things from me that I honestly don't think I'll ever get back. Part of that change is my problem, but so be it. Oddly enough, the most amazing thing about this year is how easily some people fit so easily into both these categories.

For those of you who care, I know that I have not been "right" for awhile. Honestly, I don't know when I will be again. I'm really having a hard time coming to terms with an awful lot of things right now, but please believe me when I say that I'm doing my best. I'm no longer the person I used to be.

If I seem distant from time to time, I'm sorry, but I don't know who to trust anymore.

I'm not telling you everything, but that's probably for the best right now.

Happy New Year. Seriously.

(I am not going to pull this one off, like I did with my first blogs. If I'm making anything resembling a resolution, it's that I'm fucking tired of not speaking my mind. If I say it, it has meaning, at least to me. Fuck the status quo, fuck censoring myself. I'm done with that. That's gone. It no longer works for me. This gives me an outlet I don't have elsewhere, and that's a valid purpose, a valid use.)

I'm a little (correction, a lot) drunk as I write this, so please forgive me if I seem a bit too blunt. In Vino Veritas.

I can't explain how happy I am that it's no longer 2003. I know it's purely symbolic, and nothing really changes with the shift of the calendar, but I'm happy nonetheless.

2003 taught me exactly what ambivalence means. I have never had more conflicting feelings in my entire life, and while I'm still not sure what to do with all of them, I really do pray that I never have another year like this as long as I live. Every good feeling came with a bad one, every resolution came with a caveat. I don't like living my life that way, and that's why I'm going to make some changes.

God as my witness, I never want to set foot in this town again after 2005.

To everyone that gave me support, in one way or another through this year, thank you. I can't thank you enough. I truly can't. Even when you were having a hard time understanding where I was coming from, you still tried to help. Even when your own problems were overwhelming you in ways you couldn't talk to me about, you still gave me time. That means so much, that I can't properly put it into words. For those of you who helped make my life the chore that it has been, to be blunt, you can fucking suck my farts in hell. You've taken things from me that I honestly don't think I'll ever get back. Part of that change is my problem, but so be it. Oddly enough, the most amazing thing about this year is how easily some people fit so easily into both these categories.

For those of you who care, I know that I have not been "right" for awhile. Honestly, I don't know when I will be again. I'm really having a hard time coming to terms with an awful lot of things right now, but please believe me when I say that I'm doing my best. I'm no longer the person I used to be.

If I seem distant from time to time, I'm sorry, but I don't know who to trust anymore.

I'm not telling you everything, but that's probably for the best right now.

Happy New Year. Seriously.

(I am not going to pull this one off, like I did with my first blogs. If I'm making anything resembling a resolution, it's that I'm fucking tired of not speaking my mind. If I say it, it has meaning, at least to me. Fuck the status quo, fuck censoring myself. I'm done with that. That's gone. It no longer works for me. This gives me an outlet I don't have elsewhere, and that's a valid purpose, a valid use.)

Got some spam. Actually, I got a lot of spam, but this one really got my attention. This is transcribed, word for word.

"Elk extract that helps you in the bed with the girl. Learn about it here. Stop this. their but Committees aid to welfare, policy also Papers. have Sir Command Iain Crown Treaties also impact papers series can Executive Executive covering name numerous Reviews. uses Statutory The uses"

They're not even trying anymore.

Got some spam. Actually, I got a lot of spam, but this one really got my attention. This is transcribed, word for word.

"Elk extract that helps you in the bed with the girl. Learn about it here. Stop this. their but Committees aid to welfare, policy also Papers. have Sir Command Iain Crown Treaties also impact papers series can Executive Executive covering name numerous Reviews. uses Statutory The uses"

They're not even trying anymore.

Holy Jumpin' Jiminy Jesus Hangover. Ow.

Holy Jumpin' Jiminy Jesus Hangover. Ow.

In 2002, Bill Clinton got Jerry Inzerello, an executive at the Paradise Island Casino to raise $1 million to buy drugs for AIDS patients in the Bahamas (where the casino is located, and the location of the second highest AIDS rate in the Western Hemisphere). Shortly after, Ira Magaziner, Clinton's social policy consultant, had a team of management consultants review the spending of the $1 million by the Bahamian government, at which point they discovered that they were going through two middlemen to acquire generic AIDS drugs at the cost of $3,500 per patient per year. The team made one call to the manufacturer, cutting out the middlemen and lowering the cost to $500 per person per year within days, and eventually to $138. The same amount of money that treated one person a year before now treats 25, and if no review committee came in to check on the spending, potentially thousands of AIDS patients would be dead because some businessmen were trying to make a buck.

Some people make me the fuck sick.

(I know, I know, you're thinking "Why is LO2 talking about serious shit? where's the gadgets and funny pictures?" just allow me to digress a little. I'll talk about toys again soon. Well, after my rant about Lisl Auman...)

In 2002, Bill Clinton got Jerry Inzerello, an executive at the Paradise Island Casino to raise $1 million to buy drugs for AIDS patients in the Bahamas (where the casino is located, and the location of the second highest AIDS rate in the Western Hemisphere). Shortly after, Ira Magaziner, Clinton's social policy consultant, had a team of management consultants review the spending of the $1 million by the Bahamian government, at which point they discovered that they were going through two middlemen to acquire generic AIDS drugs at the cost of $3,500 per patient per year. The team made one call to the manufacturer, cutting out the middlemen and lowering the cost to $500 per person per year within days, and eventually to $138. The same amount of money that treated one person a year before now treats 25, and if no review committee came in to check on the spending, potentially thousands of AIDS patients would be dead because some businessmen were trying to make a buck.

Some people make me the fuck sick.

(I know, I know, you're thinking "Why is LO2 talking about serious shit? where's the gadgets and funny pictures?" just allow me to digress a little. I'll talk about toys again soon. Well, after my rant about Lisl Auman...)

Movable Type, to be exact. My blogs were getting a little difficult to handle, and Cliff helped me by installing the software, so there you go. This way, I can get my blogs up faster and easier, so I can update more often. I'll get to customising the look soon enough, but I'm pretty busy right now, so this will have to do.

Movable Type, to be exact. My blogs were getting a little difficult to handle, and Cliff helped me by installing the software, so there you go. This way, I can get my blogs up faster and easier, so I can update more often. I'll get to customising the look soon enough, but I'm pretty busy right now, so this will have to do.

I went to A-Kon 15 this weekend (an anime convention) with my girlfriend Katy and my friend Keri. So did 10,000 lunatics. It was a blast. Katy's not a big anime fan, so I thought she would be bored. Fortunately, there were a couple of thousand people in anime costumes for entertainment. Really. She seemed to dig it.

I bought some art (despite the fact I'm broke) for a sweet ass price. Check it out:

The artist's name is Dallas Ragon (or D-Ragon), and he is awesome. The characters are Lupin and Jigen (Lupin is one of my favorite anime characters ever). I'm very happy with it.

I went to A-Kon 15 this weekend (an anime convention) with my girlfriend Katy and my friend Keri. So did 10,000 lunatics. It was a blast. Katy's not a big anime fan, so I thought she would be bored. Fortunately, there were a couple of thousand people in anime costumes for entertainment. Really. She seemed to dig it.

I bought some art (despite the fact I'm broke) for a sweet ass price. Check it out:

The artist's name is Dallas Ragon (or D-Ragon), and he is awesome. The characters are Lupin and Jigen (Lupin is one of my favorite anime characters ever). I'm very happy with it.

For some reason, there are a bunch of s's on the right side of my page. Am I the only one seeing that? I so don't understand how to use this software yet...

For some reason, there are a bunch of s's on the right side of my page. Am I the only one seeing that? I so don't understand how to use this software yet...

got an email today. The subject, "automaticka odpoved." The entire text of the email, "DORUCENO." What?

Cars that make me laugh:

Hummers.

Beat-up hatchback Civics with "Starfleet Academy" bumper stickers on BOTH side windows.

Pimped out trucks with a back hatch airbrush painting. Of the truck. That it's painted on.

got an email today. The subject, "automaticka odpoved." The entire text of the email, "DORUCENO." What?

Cars that make me laugh:

Hummers.

Beat-up hatchback Civics with "Starfleet Academy" bumper stickers on BOTH side windows.

Pimped out trucks with a back hatch airbrush painting. Of the truck. That it's painted on.

This girl I knew when I was little once said that it was the first day of Spring when you saw your first bumblebee of the year (she referred to Spring as "bar'footin' time").

Everyone has their little indicators.

As I left work today, I saw my first hot teeny short wearing rollerblader girl skate by, grinning and wearing headphones, swaying from right to left in the way that rollerbladers tend to do.

Ah, the first day of Summer...

This girl I knew when I was little once said that it was the first day of Spring when you saw your first bumblebee of the year (she referred to Spring as "bar'footin' time").

Everyone has their little indicators.

As I left work today, I saw my first hot teeny short wearing rollerblader girl skate by, grinning and wearing headphones, swaying from right to left in the way that rollerbladers tend to do.

Ah, the first day of Summer...

I have work to do. Nevertheless, Jill made me waste time making this stupid fucking picture.

What the hell is going on.

Jill needs her own blog.

I have work to do. Nevertheless, Jill made me waste time making this stupid fucking picture.

What the hell is going on.

Jill needs her own blog.

How do dogs know not to jump out of the back of the truck? I can pretty much understand it when the truck is going 50, but they stay in there at stop lights and stuff.

How do dogs know not to jump out of the back of the truck? I can pretty much understand it when the truck is going 50, but they stay in there at stop lights and stuff.

Been re-watching Freaks and Geeks, as the DVD set has been released. Just another example of a great great great show that dies because TV executives suck butt, and average TV viewers suck TV executive butt while they suck other butt.

Still not as great as Firefly, but great nonetheless. Check it out.

Been re-watching Freaks and Geeks, as the DVD set has been released. Just another example of a great great great show that dies because TV executives suck butt, and average TV viewers suck TV executive butt while they suck other butt.

Still not as great as Firefly, but great nonetheless. Check it out.

He can't even sell a book without a Left/Right fistfight. Amazon's review section is getting packed to the gills with craptacular reviews, Republican 1 stars and Democratic 5 stars abounding, and I'm willing to bet 90% haven't even touched the book.

I actually read ten pages myself. Here's my review (posted on Amazon).

For such a big book, there seems to be so little. The drama of events and the personality of those involved never seem to make it off the page in any interesting way. You can't help but feel that the book was rushed, and in need of a co-writer or a better editor (possibly an editor with more time to work, as the word on the street is that there was no time for fine tuning). Clinton, his complexities, failures and successes will be better summed up years from now by some adept biographer. Read The Path to Power or The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt to pass the time until that happens.

Read all the other reviews (or buy the book) here.

P.S. - You can get it for free on SuprNova. If you're into that kinda thing. *warning - popups*

He can't even sell a book without a Left/Right fistfight. Amazon's review section is getting packed to the gills with craptacular reviews, Republican 1 stars and Democratic 5 stars abounding, and I'm willing to bet 90% haven't even touched the book.

I actually read ten pages myself. Here's my review (posted on Amazon).

For such a big book, there seems to be so little. The drama of events and the personality of those involved never seem to make it off the page in any interesting way. You can't help but feel that the book was rushed, and in need of a co-writer or a better editor (possibly an editor with more time to work, as the word on the street is that there was no time for fine tuning). Clinton, his complexities, failures and successes will be better summed up years from now by some adept biographer. Read The Path to Power or The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt to pass the time until that happens.

Read all the other reviews (or buy the book) here.

P.S. - You can get it for free on SuprNova. If you're into that kinda thing. *warning - popups*

Turns out that Jane Seymour is a friend of the arts.

Oddly enough, Jane's home, St. Catherine's Court, is getting a rep as a great place to record an album. Radiohead recorded OK Computer there, New Order, The Cure, and Robbie Williams have also spent time there. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate Mrs. Seymour's Live and Let Die era hotness, but this still stuck me as unusual.

No particular reason for this post. Just thought it was neat.

Turns out that Jane Seymour is a friend of the arts.

Oddly enough, Jane's home, St. Catherine's Court, is getting a rep as a great place to record an album. Radiohead recorded OK Computer there, New Order, The Cure, and Robbie Williams have also spent time there. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate Mrs. Seymour's Live and Let Die era hotness, but this still stuck me as unusual.

No particular reason for this post. Just thought it was neat.

I've got G-mail, thanks to Nikonius! Not that I really needed it or anything, but still...

I've got G-mail, thanks to Nikonius! Not that I really needed it or anything, but still...

That's the headline of the new Weekly World News. I shit you not. There are so many things in this one publication that doubled me over in fits of laughter, that I have to believe that the editors of Spy and National Lampoon have secretly taken over the paper. Complete dissection coming soon.

That's the headline of the new Weekly World News. I shit you not. There are so many things in this one publication that doubled me over in fits of laughter, that I have to believe that the editors of Spy and National Lampoon have secretly taken over the paper. Complete dissection coming soon.

I asked Nikonius to take a photo of this spider I found (much obliged). He also figured out what kind of spider it is. Nice. Hopefully I'll get to make a wallpaper.

Speaking of spiders, I saw Spider-Man 2 the other day, and I was really impressed. Just like X-Men, the second film was far better than the first (and neither of the first ones sucked to begin with). It's no Rules of the Game, but I think it's easily the best of the new Marvel movies so far. Can't wait for the next one.

I asked Nikonius to take a photo of this spider I found (much obliged). He also figured out what kind of spider it is. Nice. Hopefully I'll get to make a wallpaper.

Speaking of spiders, I saw Spider-Man 2 the other day, and I was really impressed. Just like X-Men, the second film was far better than the first (and neither of the first ones sucked to begin with). It's no Rules of the Game, but I think it's easily the best of the new Marvel movies so far. Can't wait for the next one.

Complete and total jackasses who label a video download as "Really Funny," when it's video of a guy getting hit by a car. These people can suck my ass.

Don't get me wrong. If you want to put that shit out, so be it. But don't mislabel it for the sake of messing with people.

I'm aware that this won't have any sort of positive effect, probably quite the opposite, but I had to vent.

Complete and total jackasses who label a video download as "Really Funny," when it's video of a guy getting hit by a car. These people can suck my ass.

Don't get me wrong. If you want to put that shit out, so be it. But don't mislabel it for the sake of messing with people.

I'm aware that this won't have any sort of positive effect, probably quite the opposite, but I had to vent.

Computer at work is all broke and stuff. Can't do anything for 20 minutes. Figured I'd blog the time away. Blog blog blog. Here's a picture af a hot dog!

I like hot dogs.

289 days until Serenity, the Firefly movie! whee!

Gotta go.

Computer at work is all broke and stuff. Can't do anything for 20 minutes. Figured I'd blog the time away. Blog blog blog. Here's a picture af a hot dog!

I like hot dogs.

289 days until Serenity, the Firefly movie! whee!

Gotta go.

Katy left for San Antonio yesterday. I sad.

Worked on a remix of Tori Amos' cover of Eminem's "'97 Bonnie and Clyde." It's not bad.

That's it, really.

Katy left for San Antonio yesterday. I sad.

Worked on a remix of Tori Amos' cover of Eminem's "'97 Bonnie and Clyde." It's not bad.

That's it, really.

Added AMIP Dynamic Signature to my blog. I'll eventually reformat it to go on the side, but that's a lot of work, and I have plenty of other things to do right now. Plus I'm perfectly happy with where it is. Now you can see what a pseudo music snob like me listens to!

Added AMIP Dynamic Signature to my blog. I'll eventually reformat it to go on the side, but that's a lot of work, and I have plenty of other things to do right now. Plus I'm perfectly happy with where it is. Now you can see what a pseudo music snob like me listens to!

From the Denver Post. Would've just linked it, but there aere crazy pop-up ads, so I thought I'd give you an option.

Teen Girls Find Obscene Pictures in Cameras
By Kieran Nicholson
Denver Post Staff Writer and Cheryl Preheim 9News

Boulder police are looking for a man who secretly swiped teenage cheerleaders' cameras and took photos of his genitals.

The girls didn't realize anything was amiss until they got their pictures back from a photo developer.

The incident happened earlier this month during a cheerleading camp while the girls were staying at a Boulder hotel, according to two victims and their families.

The man who used the camera was careful not to take pictures showing his face, but the disturbing photos included him placing his genitals on the girls' personal items including drinking cups, bottles and food.

"It was quite a shock looking at those, quite a shock that in the very room she was in he would do these things to himself, I'm just appalled," said Barb Helzer, mother of one of the girls.

The cheerleading camp was held on the Boulder campus of the University of Colorado from June 8-11. The girls stayed off campus at the Broker Inn.

Hotel management declined to comment but said they will cooperate with the Boulder police investigation.

Police said they are looking into the incident but declined further comment, noting the investigation is ongoing.

From the Denver Post. Would've just linked it, but there aere crazy pop-up ads, so I thought I'd give you an option.

Teen Girls Find Obscene Pictures in Cameras
By Kieran Nicholson
Denver Post Staff Writer and Cheryl Preheim 9News

Boulder police are looking for a man who secretly swiped teenage cheerleaders' cameras and took photos of his genitals.

The girls didn't realize anything was amiss until they got their pictures back from a photo developer.

The incident happened earlier this month during a cheerleading camp while the girls were staying at a Boulder hotel, according to two victims and their families.

The man who used the camera was careful not to take pictures showing his face, but the disturbing photos included him placing his genitals on the girls' personal items including drinking cups, bottles and food.

"It was quite a shock looking at those, quite a shock that in the very room she was in he would do these things to himself, I'm just appalled," said Barb Helzer, mother of one of the girls.

The cheerleading camp was held on the Boulder campus of the University of Colorado from June 8-11. The girls stayed off campus at the Broker Inn.

Hotel management declined to comment but said they will cooperate with the Boulder police investigation.

Police said they are looking into the incident but declined further comment, noting the investigation is ongoing.

It's in bad taste, but I laughed, so...

A girl asks her dad, "Why am I called Rose?"
The father replies, "Because a rose petal fell on your head when you were born."
Then her sister asks, "Why am I called Lily?"
The father replies, "Because a lily petal fell on your head when you were born."
Her brother says, "ERTGTHREGERG£$%£$^£EGRD!!"
The father replies, "Shut up Cinderblock."

It's in bad taste, but I laughed, so...

A girl asks her dad, "Why am I called Rose?"
The father replies, "Because a rose petal fell on your head when you were born."
Then her sister asks, "Why am I called Lily?"
The father replies, "Because a lily petal fell on your head when you were born."
Her brother says, "ERTGTHREGERG£$%£$^£EGRD!!"
The father replies, "Shut up Cinderblock."

Went to Treff's last night with Donnie and Becca (D is leaving for Austin Friday), and my car wouldn't start. Plus, I was parked in one of those "It's OK to park here, but only at night" spots. Waited an hour and a half for the spaces in front of me to clear up so I could push my car into a safer space. Spent most of the blazingly hot next morning digging for cash and getting a new battery. Luckily, it was just a dead battery and worn contacts to blame, so now I'm moving again, but now I'm a big ball of sweaty crap.

Here's a wallpaper of a car much nicer than mine:

Went to Treff's last night with Donnie and Becca (D is leaving for Austin Friday), and my car wouldn't start. Plus, I was parked in one of those "It's OK to park here, but only at night" spots. Waited an hour and a half for the spaces in front of me to clear up so I could push my car into a safer space. Spent most of the blazingly hot next morning digging for cash and getting a new battery. Luckily, it was just a dead battery and worn contacts to blame, so now I'm moving again, but now I'm a big ball of sweaty crap.

Here's a wallpaper of a car much nicer than mine:

Man it's hot. It's like Africa hot. Tarzan couldn't take this kind of hot.

Man it's hot. It's like Africa hot. Tarzan couldn't take this kind of hot.

My torrent host is no more, the dowloads on the bar go away now. I'll get them back up soon.

My torrent host is no more, the dowloads on the bar go away now. I'll get them back up soon.

I had no idea that D-Minus has his own blog. Nor was I aware that he is the primary representative of the Baylor History Department. This, after all is the same guy who once sang:

"I make a 1 with 6 0's
I'm legit like that
Make you a nice sweater,
cause I knit like that"

hmm.

I had no idea that D-Minus has his own blog. Nor was I aware that he is the primary representative of the Baylor History Department. This, after all is the same guy who once sang:

"I make a 1 with 6 0's
I'm legit like that
Make you a nice sweater,
cause I knit like that"

hmm.

Sunny D Lemonade tastes like thick lemon juice. Urgh.

Sunny D Lemonade tastes like thick lemon juice. Urgh.

In celebration of my 100th post, I have started a new weblog slash webcomic, The Adventures of Bark and Skeet. You will hate it. For the loyal reader(s) of my blog, here's strip #2 (Unpublished until Monday). Click to enlarge.

The new blog looks kinda simple. I'll pretty it up later.

In celebration of my 100th post, I have started a new weblog slash webcomic, The Adventures of Bark and Skeet. You will hate it. For the loyal reader(s) of my blog, here's strip #2 (Unpublished until Monday). Click to enlarge.

The new blog looks kinda simple. I'll pretty it up later.

3.45% angela delvechio
3.45% please stand by while the age of miracles is briefly suspended
1.72% barcelona chair pictures
1.72% bloody motherfucker whiskey
1.72% cassius marcellus coolidge and reproduction rights
1.72% cheryl preheim colorado
1.72% chesterfield michigan topless dancing
1.72% irish movie willum defoe
1.72% merton to please you pleases you
1.72% silhouetto and figaro and bismillah and translation
1.72% stylist at work
1.72% there are a lot of ways to grieve
1.72% you'd better go ahead and enjoy this while you can bob because

and my favorite...

3.45% the honkys

3.45% angela delvechio
3.45% please stand by while the age of miracles is briefly suspended
1.72% barcelona chair pictures
1.72% bloody motherfucker whiskey
1.72% cassius marcellus coolidge and reproduction rights
1.72% cheryl preheim colorado
1.72% chesterfield michigan topless dancing
1.72% irish movie willum defoe
1.72% merton to please you pleases you
1.72% silhouetto and figaro and bismillah and translation
1.72% stylist at work
1.72% there are a lot of ways to grieve
1.72% you'd better go ahead and enjoy this while you can bob because

and my favorite...

3.45% the honkys

Can you refer to anything as being "uncrackable" without sounding like a sarcastic smartass?

Can you refer to anything as being "uncrackable" without sounding like a sarcastic smartass?

The cover to the new Time Magazine (biggest pic I could find, sorry). The cover story is "Saving the Big Cats," but as I walked by a copy and glanced down at it, I could've sworn it said "Shaving the Big Cats." Couldn't stop laughing for five minutes. Poor big shaved cats.

The cover to the new Time Magazine (biggest pic I could find, sorry). The cover story is "Saving the Big Cats," but as I walked by a copy and glanced down at it, I could've sworn it said "Shaving the Big Cats." Couldn't stop laughing for five minutes. Poor big shaved cats.

Hmm. What is it that tells you that the school year has begun again when you work on a college campus? Is it the eager eyed freshmen? The bookstore flyers everywhere? The bad drivers barreling towards you on one way streets? No, no, no. For me, it's the astonishing amount of urine all over the men's room toilets and floors.

Seriously. I'm not that old, I clearly remember being 18. I could aim, I'm sure of it. The random errant drop, I can understand, but it looks like the bathroom has been showering.

That's all I can really say about that.

Hmm. What is it that tells you that the school year has begun again when you work on a college campus? Is it the eager eyed freshmen? The bookstore flyers everywhere? The bad drivers barreling towards you on one way streets? No, no, no. For me, it's the astonishing amount of urine all over the men's room toilets and floors.

Seriously. I'm not that old, I clearly remember being 18. I could aim, I'm sure of it. The random errant drop, I can understand, but it looks like the bathroom has been showering.

That's all I can really say about that.

Well, I have a Google GMail account to give away. Comment on this post letting me know why you deserve this account more than anyone else. Considering that whoever responds will probably be the only one (not a big traffic magnet, me), you've got a good chance.

Well, I have a Google GMail account to give away. Comment on this post letting me know why you deserve this account more than anyone else. Considering that whoever responds will probably be the only one (not a big traffic magnet, me), you've got a good chance.

Went a little link happy, didn't I?

Went a little link happy, didn't I?

I lost the link to where I got this from, but whoever did this was a genius.

METHOD 1

Enter this string in Google search:

“parent directory ” /appz/ -xxx -html -htm -php -shtml -opendivx -md5 -md5sums

“parent directory ” DVDRip -xxx -html -htm -php -shtml -opendivx -md5 -md5sums

“parent directory “ Xvid -xxx -html -htm -php -shtml -opendivx -md5 -md5sums

“parent directory ” Gamez -xxx -html -htm -php -shtml -opendivx -md5 -md5sums

“parent directory ” MP3 -xxx -html -htm -php -shtml -opendivx -md5 -md5sums

“parent directory ” Name of Singer or album -xxx -html -htm -php -shtml -opendivx -md5 -md5sums

Notice that I am only changing the word after the parent directory, change it to what you want and you will get a lot of stuff.

METHOD 2

Enter this string in Google search:

?intitle:index.of? mp3

You only need add the name of the song/artist/singer.

Example: ?intitle:index.of? mp3 jackson

METHOD 3

Enter this string in Google search:

inurl:microsoft filetype:iso

You can change the string to watever you want, ex. microsoft to adobe, iso to zip etc…

I lost the link to where I got this from, but whoever did this was a genius.

METHOD 1

Enter this string in Google search:

“parent directory ” /appz/ -xxx -html -htm -php -shtml -opendivx -md5 -md5sums

“parent directory ” DVDRip -xxx -html -htm -php -shtml -opendivx -md5 -md5sums

“parent directory “ Xvid -xxx -html -htm -php -shtml -opendivx -md5 -md5sums

“parent directory ” Gamez -xxx -html -htm -php -shtml -opendivx -md5 -md5sums

“parent directory ” MP3 -xxx -html -htm -php -shtml -opendivx -md5 -md5sums

“parent directory ” Name of Singer or album -xxx -html -htm -php -shtml -opendivx -md5 -md5sums

Notice that I am only changing the word after the parent directory, change it to what you want and you will get a lot of stuff.

METHOD 2

Enter this string in Google search:

?intitle:index.of? mp3

You only need add the name of the song/artist/singer.

Example: ?intitle:index.of? mp3 jackson

METHOD 3

Enter this string in Google search:

inurl:microsoft filetype:iso

You can change the string to watever you want, ex. microsoft to adobe, iso to zip etc…

Bought a copy of Sync Magazine at Barnes and Noble today, mainly because I was looking for a new magazine, I dig gadgets, and it was only three bucks.

So not worth the three bucks.

Sync is basically the result of an idiot corporation that said "Hey! Gadgets are cool now. There are some other gadget magazines. And Maxim sells a lot of magazines (see Stuff), so let's to that. Get gadget thingies and put some girls in it! Whee!"

The result is beyond sad. The writers/editors don't know shit about technology, and much of the information is useless. Examples:

Referring to a 400 Mhz Pentium as pre-Pentium II (i.e. Pentium I). Correct me if I'm wrong, but they never existed.

Reporting the same PC as having 64 bits of RAM when purchased. Um. Commodore 64s had more than that.

Also, the PC was purchased with an 8MB video card. No. Also, that would mean that this PC had 1024 times more video memory than regular memory.

Referring to the first Metroid as a "classic first person shooter." No. No no no.

Reporting that US cellphone carriers won't activate the world's smallest cellphone (a Panasonic), despite the fact that my next door neighbor talks on one often.

Also, the big winner for me: Favorably reviewing Johnny Cash's "American V" album. Which hadn't even been put to CD yet when this issue was printed. Even for review copies. Really. Although unlikely, this album could consist entirely of farting noises and prolonged silences, and Sync would be none the wiser.

God, I wish I could start a gadget magazine so I could get all the free gear I could ever want without knowing shit. Wait! I am. I'm a magazine! Send me the free videogamey thingies! I'll be waiting...

Bought a copy of Sync Magazine at Barnes and Noble today, mainly because I was looking for a new magazine, I dig gadgets, and it was only three bucks.

So not worth the three bucks.

Sync is basically the result of an idiot corporation that said "Hey! Gadgets are cool now. There are some other gadget magazines. And Maxim sells a lot of magazines (see Stuff), so let's to that. Get gadget thingies and put some girls in it! Whee!"

The result is beyond sad. The writers/editors don't know shit about technology, and much of the information is useless. Examples:

Referring to a 400 Mhz Pentium as pre-Pentium II (i.e. Pentium I). Correct me if I'm wrong, but they never existed.

Reporting the same PC as having 64 bits of RAM when purchased. Um. Commodore 64s had more than that.

Also, the PC was purchased with an 8MB video card. No. Also, that would mean that this PC had 1024 times more video memory than regular memory.

Referring to the first Metroid as a "classic first person shooter." No. No no no.

Reporting that US cellphone carriers won't activate the world's smallest cellphone (a Panasonic), despite the fact that my next door neighbor talks on one often.

Also, the big winner for me: Favorably reviewing Johnny Cash's "American V" album. Which hadn't even been put to CD yet when this issue was printed. Even for review copies. Really. Although unlikely, this album could consist entirely of farting noises and prolonged silences, and Sync would be none the wiser.

God, I wish I could start a gadget magazine so I could get all the free gear I could ever want without knowing shit. Wait! I am. I'm a magazine! Send me the free videogamey thingies! I'll be waiting...

4.82% carton sex
1.20% 'i am turning japanese'
1.20% blanks underdog
1.20% celebrity cyborgs
1.20% ex girlfriends pics
1.20% god diva bittorrent
1.20% henry alford new orleans hair
1.20% kuusumum profeeta
1.20% leg extensions for tallness
1.20% nuns with guns
1.20% orgasmic origami
1.20% skeet
1.20% trump young and beautiful piece of ass
1.20% wilson's house of leather in l.a.com

4.82% carton sex
1.20% 'i am turning japanese'
1.20% blanks underdog
1.20% celebrity cyborgs
1.20% ex girlfriends pics
1.20% god diva bittorrent
1.20% henry alford new orleans hair
1.20% kuusumum profeeta
1.20% leg extensions for tallness
1.20% nuns with guns
1.20% orgasmic origami
1.20% skeet
1.20% trump young and beautiful piece of ass
1.20% wilson's house of leather in l.a.com

Driving home with my girlfriend earlier behind one of those 18 wheelers that hauls gas and chemicals and such. There was a warning sticker on the back that read "WARNING! VIM VI!"

What the hell is a Vim Vi? Is this thing hauling gas in Latin? Gasum? Cogito Gas'em Up? What?

Driving home with my girlfriend earlier behind one of those 18 wheelers that hauls gas and chemicals and such. There was a warning sticker on the back that read "WARNING! VIM VI!"

What the hell is a Vim Vi? Is this thing hauling gas in Latin? Gasum? Cogito Gas'em Up? What?

Wal-Mart is responsible for the sale of 10% of the music in this country (and climbing). One out of every five major label sales occurs at Wal-Mart. Now read this:

"Getting Wal-Mart excited about carrying a record is at the top of every label's to-do list, but it's harder than it sounds. There is an immense cultural chasm between slick industry executives and Severson's team of three music buyers at Wal-Mart headquarters in Bentonville, Arkansas. Only one of the three had ever worked in music retailing -- until that person moved to a new division in August and was replaced by someone who previously bought Wal-Mart's salty snacks."

Read the rest here.

Wal-Mart is responsible for the sale of 10% of the music in this country (and climbing). One out of every five major label sales occurs at Wal-Mart. Now read this:

"Getting Wal-Mart excited about carrying a record is at the top of every label's to-do list, but it's harder than it sounds. There is an immense cultural chasm between slick industry executives and Severson's team of three music buyers at Wal-Mart headquarters in Bentonville, Arkansas. Only one of the three had ever worked in music retailing -- until that person moved to a new division in August and was replaced by someone who previously bought Wal-Mart's salty snacks."

Read the rest here.

Somebody fucking shoot me.

Mental Note: Take vacation time next year.

Somebody fucking shoot me.

Mental Note: Take vacation time next year.

Short form: I was on Talk of the Nation today.

Long Form: I was listening to Talk of the Nation today, and the guest was Gerard Jones, and he was talking about his book Men Of Tomorrow: Geeks, Gangsters, and the Birth of the Comic Book. As tends to be the case with most comic book discussions in a large forum, it was getting overrun with both the ill informed and fanboys.

Then Chris Claremont came on as a guest.

That's it. I had to call. The fanboy in me wanted to give the nod to Chris, and the rest of me wanted to let the nation know that not all comic book readers are morons. I got to callin'. Being a national/global talk show, it takes some time to get through, but I did. Right after the segment ended. I was just about to hang up when they started the next part. With the editor of Wired. Talking about sampling, copyright violation, and the subculture of illegal remixes.

This show was made for me.

Anyway, I stayed on the line, and got through (first caller! woo!), and managed to get my two cents in (not to mention my pseudonym, go web traffic, it's your birthday!), but I was surprised to hear how nervous I sounded. You have to understand that I'm on the redio every day, I'm in one of the stupidest bands in the history of the world, yet when I have to talk to Neal Conan, I'm a fricking schoolgirl. At least I got to plug myself.

Anyway, my part is here. Or you can listen to to whole show here.

Short form: I was on Talk of the Nation today.

Long Form: I was listening to Talk of the Nation today, and the guest was Gerard Jones, and he was talking about his book Men Of Tomorrow: Geeks, Gangsters, and the Birth of the Comic Book. As tends to be the case with most comic book discussions in a large forum, it was getting overrun with both the ill informed and fanboys.

Then Chris Claremont came on as a guest.

That's it. I had to call. The fanboy in me wanted to give the nod to Chris, and the rest of me wanted to let the nation know that not all comic book readers are morons. I got to callin'. Being a national/global talk show, it takes some time to get through, but I did. Right after the segment ended. I was just about to hang up when they started the next part. With the editor of Wired. Talking about sampling, copyright violation, and the subculture of illegal remixes.

This show was made for me.

Anyway, I stayed on the line, and got through (first caller! woo!), and managed to get my two cents in (not to mention my pseudonym, go web traffic, it's your birthday!), but I was surprised to hear how nervous I sounded. You have to understand that I'm on the redio every day, I'm in one of the stupidest bands in the history of the world, yet when I have to talk to Neal Conan, I'm a fricking schoolgirl. At least I got to plug myself.

Anyway, my part is here. Or you can listen to to whole show here.

You know the crazy old lady character Cheri Oteri plays on SNL? I found her. She works at the Shell station at Imperial and Highway 6 in Waco, TX. Awesome.

Also, don't forget to try one of her delicious "Grillquitos!" (I did not.)

Note: This is not an actual picture of the crazy old lady character, but when I was online attempting to find a suitable photo, I was getting links like "Cheri oteri nude chicks with huge children nude chi-chi nude." I'm not kidding.

You know the crazy old lady character Cheri Oteri plays on SNL? I found her. She works at the Shell station at Imperial and Highway 6 in Waco, TX. Awesome.

Also, don't forget to try one of her delicious "Grillquitos!" (I did not.)

Note: This is not an actual picture of the crazy old lady character, but when I was online attempting to find a suitable photo, I was getting links like "Cheri oteri nude chicks with huge children nude chi-chi nude." I'm not kidding.

I keep seeing this picture, and the more I do, the more I think "Who the hell is that guy in the middle? Gary Oldman? Who the hell is that?"

Anyway, just waiting for Tuesday so I can negate my friend Michael's vote.

I keep seeing this picture, and the more I do, the more I think "Who the hell is that guy in the middle? Gary Oldman? Who the hell is that?"

Anyway, just waiting for Tuesday so I can negate my friend Michael's vote.

Driving home on the highway, I saw one of those big electronic roadsigns near a construction area that said "Lane closings Wesneday and Thrusday."

Is that before Bleensday or after Frippycycle?

Driving home on the highway, I saw one of those big electronic roadsigns near a construction area that said "Lane closings Wesneday and Thrusday."

Is that before Bleensday or after Frippycycle?

Nationally distributed commercials with bad actors using stilted awkward dialogue. I might call one of your credit counselors or but your $200 diet pills if the banker/doctor didn't seem to be mildly retarded. There are thousands of fine actors out there that would eat a bug for a step towards a SAG card.

The term "Pre-Owned." Used. It's used.

Nationally distributed commercials with bad actors using stilted awkward dialogue. I might call one of your credit counselors or but your $200 diet pills if the banker/doctor didn't seem to be mildly retarded. There are thousands of fine actors out there that would eat a bug for a step towards a SAG card.

The term "Pre-Owned." Used. It's used.

1.89% asssssssss
1.89% nader 2008
1.89% sombrero mr. t
0.94% blanks underdog mp3
0.94% eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
0.94% fetish girls in tight lycra shorts
0.94% funny soccer
0.94% grope
0.94% homemade flamethrower
0.94% japanese bohemian rhapsody
0.94% masonic handshake
0.94% national association of w lovers mp3
0.94% panda pants
0.94% walking down jovanotti
0.94% women in heels

1.89% asssssssss
1.89% nader 2008
1.89% sombrero mr. t
0.94% blanks underdog mp3
0.94% eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
0.94% fetish girls in tight lycra shorts
0.94% funny soccer
0.94% grope
0.94% homemade flamethrower
0.94% japanese bohemian rhapsody
0.94% masonic handshake
0.94% national association of w lovers mp3
0.94% panda pants
0.94% walking down jovanotti
0.94% women in heels

Been meaning to blog this forever.

My friend Keri is a hardcore anime nut, and she's into collecting cels. She sent me this message (and a picture, no longer available, so I just put up a google search result for "unknown cel."):

"I received a freebie cel from a friend and neither of us knows where it is from. All of you have seen more anime than I have, so I was hoping maybe one of you has seen this anime. Thanks!"

I responded:

"Easy. That’s from 'Lunnakrugjotti: The Corn Harvest of the Eastern Region,' the harrowing tale of Captain Harlock’s farm living relatives, and their attempts to exorcise tentacle laden hentai demons from their corn harvest. Almost as good as the OVA 'Lunnakrugjotti: Okra of the Damned,' but not nearly as funny as 'Lunnakrugjotti: Beets!'"

I don't know anything.

Been meaning to blog this forever.

My friend Keri is a hardcore anime nut, and she's into collecting cels. She sent me this message (and a picture, no longer available, so I just put up a google search result for "unknown cel."):

"I received a freebie cel from a friend and neither of us knows where it is from. All of you have seen more anime than I have, so I was hoping maybe one of you has seen this anime. Thanks!"

I responded:

"Easy. That’s from 'Lunnakrugjotti: The Corn Harvest of the Eastern Region,' the harrowing tale of Captain Harlock’s farm living relatives, and their attempts to exorcise tentacle laden hentai demons from their corn harvest. Almost as good as the OVA 'Lunnakrugjotti: Okra of the Damned,' but not nearly as funny as 'Lunnakrugjotti: Beets!'"

I don't know anything.

They CANCELLED The Screen Savers! Shit!

Well, at least Cliff will be happy.

They CANCELLED The Screen Savers! Shit!

Well, at least Cliff will be happy.

This is Margaret Hassan. British born, she moved to Iraq 30 years ago, and worked for CARE International, providing humanitarian aid to the country for nearly three decades. She long stood as the head of the entire division.

Margaret Hassan was kidnapped, to be used as a pawn against the placement of British troops in Iraq. Some time in the last few days, she was videotaped as a man put a gun to her head and killed her with a single bullet.

This woman spent 30 years helping prople in Iraq. Thirty years, and she's thanked with a bullet to the head in the same country. I'm at a loss for words. I'm sickened by this. I've fucking had it with the entire situation, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

I'm sick of all the killing, I'm sick of the utter lack of logic behind everyone's motivation. I'm sick of religion being used on all sides as a motivation for murder. I'm sick of people getting rich because of it. I've just had it.

This is Margaret Hassan. British born, she moved to Iraq 30 years ago, and worked for CARE International, providing humanitarian aid to the country for nearly three decades. She long stood as the head of the entire division.

Margaret Hassan was kidnapped, to be used as a pawn against the placement of British troops in Iraq. Some time in the last few days, she was videotaped as a man put a gun to her head and killed her with a single bullet.

This woman spent 30 years helping prople in Iraq. Thirty years, and she's thanked with a bullet to the head in the same country. I'm at a loss for words. I'm sickened by this. I've fucking had it with the entire situation, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

I'm sick of all the killing, I'm sick of the utter lack of logic behind everyone's motivation. I'm sick of religion being used on all sides as a motivation for murder. I'm sick of people getting rich because of it. I've just had it.

The gadgetblog site Engadget can kiss my ass. I sent them a link to my blog entry about the Nixie Tube wristwatch in September, and they put it up two weeks ago, without a submission credit. They suck.

Note: If you're thinking "hey, they probably found it on their own and posted it," that just means that they suck for not paying attention to my submission, and they got scooped by two months on a gadget by a guy who gets like eight visitors a month. Screw it, I'll go to Gizmodo.

The gadgetblog site Engadget can kiss my ass. I sent them a link to my blog entry about the Nixie Tube wristwatch in September, and they put it up two weeks ago, without a submission credit. They suck.

Note: If you're thinking "hey, they probably found it on their own and posted it," that just means that they suck for not paying attention to my submission, and they got scooped by two months on a gadget by a guy who gets like eight visitors a month. Screw it, I'll go to Gizmodo.

OK. Phillip Torrone and Peter Rojas from Engadget commented on my previous Engadget related entry, and now I feel bad.

To be completely honest, I've still looked at Engadget every day since that posting. It's a good site.

I'm a poophead.

OK. Phillip Torrone and Peter Rojas from Engadget commented on my previous Engadget related entry, and now I feel bad.

To be completely honest, I've still looked at Engadget every day since that posting. It's a good site.

I'm a poophead.

This is one of the wreaths put up for the holidays at Common Grounds, a coffeehouse I often frequent. It's made of dyed green feathers. Dyed. Green. Feathers.

Here's my problem. This may well be the tackiest thing that I have ever seen in my life. However, the tackiness is so extreme that it seems to have moved all the way to acceptable (or at least nondescript, and therefore acceptable). I'm confused.

Thanks to Nikonius for the cell phone photo. I don't gots such fancy toys and whatnot.

This is one of the wreaths put up for the holidays at Common Grounds, a coffeehouse I often frequent. It's made of dyed green feathers. Dyed. Green. Feathers.

Here's my problem. This may well be the tackiest thing that I have ever seen in my life. However, the tackiness is so extreme that it seems to have moved all the way to acceptable (or at least nondescript, and therefore acceptable). I'm confused.

Thanks to Nikonius for the cell phone photo. I don't gots such fancy toys and whatnot.

Well, I just started the biggest set of eBay auctions I've ever put up at one time. 900 books in 260 auctions, at 99 cents a pop. Note: If you're a local Waco friend of mine, and you win some of these, you can just come get them, you don't have to pay shipping or anything.

I would tell you how much the listing fees were for 260 auctions, but I was too scared to look.

Now I have to get started on my record collection.

Well, I just started the biggest set of eBay auctions I've ever put up at one time. 900 books in 260 auctions, at 99 cents a pop. Note: If you're a local Waco friend of mine, and you win some of these, you can just come get them, you don't have to pay shipping or anything.

I would tell you how much the listing fees were for 260 auctions, but I was too scared to look.

Now I have to get started on my record collection.

I haven't done much in the way of blogging lately, but I've been pretty busy. Work, combined with work II (eBay) have kept me running. Add to that the fact that it's pledge (when PBS asks you for cash), and that one of my employees called in sick for three days in a row, that equals busy.

One notable thing. The engineer at our station, a trash talking Australian (and a damn good engineer) named Tony, has it worse than I do, so I'm trying to help him out a little, without it becoming something else attached to my job description (no easy feat). Today, I went to out old FM transmitter to switch out some equipment, while he did the same at the new transmitter (which the one I was at links to). Here were his instructions (minus pointing out the "this and that's").

"Uplug this cable, and plug this other one in its place. Take these two audio cables, and move them from this box to that one. Turn off the white box. Take the big cable from the back of the white box and plug it into the new grey one. Then turn on the power to the new grey box. Make sure to turn the power on last, or the microwaves will blind you."

Or. The microwaves. Will blind you.

Microwaves.

Blind.

I do not make enough money.

I haven't done much in the way of blogging lately, but I've been pretty busy. Work, combined with work II (eBay) have kept me running. Add to that the fact that it's pledge (when PBS asks you for cash), and that one of my employees called in sick for three days in a row, that equals busy.

One notable thing. The engineer at our station, a trash talking Australian (and a damn good engineer) named Tony, has it worse than I do, so I'm trying to help him out a little, without it becoming something else attached to my job description (no easy feat). Today, I went to out old FM transmitter to switch out some equipment, while he did the same at the new transmitter (which the one I was at links to). Here were his instructions (minus pointing out the "this and that's").

"Uplug this cable, and plug this other one in its place. Take these two audio cables, and move them from this box to that one. Turn off the white box. Take the big cable from the back of the white box and plug it into the new grey one. Then turn on the power to the new grey box. Make sure to turn the power on last, or the microwaves will blind you."

Or. The microwaves. Will blind you.

Microwaves.

Blind.

I do not make enough money.

I logged onto PayPal today and saw this message:

"For a limited time, when you start using PayPal with your new, free iTunes account, you’ll get five songs free (while supplies last)."

The limited time part I get. "While supplies last?" Bullshit. You mean "until the record companies feel like shilling you for a non-transferable item that's not actually a physical thing, so 'supplies' means diddly." Poo.

I logged onto PayPal today and saw this message:

"For a limited time, when you start using PayPal with your new, free iTunes account, you’ll get five songs free (while supplies last)."

The limited time part I get. "While supplies last?" Bullshit. You mean "until the record companies feel like shilling you for a non-transferable item that's not actually a physical thing, so 'supplies' means diddly." Poo.

"Bertrand Russell was giving a lesson on solipsism to a lay audience,
and a woman got up and said she was delighted to hear Bertrand Russell
say he was a solipsist; she was one too, and she wished there were more
of us. Free online poker."

"Bertrand Russell was giving a lesson on solipsism to a lay audience,
and a woman got up and said she was delighted to hear Bertrand Russell
say he was a solipsist; she was one too, and she wished there were more
of us. Free online poker."

...and time off from work, and cash...anyway, I got accepted to be one of the 700 people installing The Gates Project in February. Could be interesting...

...and time off from work, and cash...anyway, I got accepted to be one of the 700 people installing The Gates Project in February. Could be interesting...

There's nothing quite as entertaining as Terry Gross (of NPR's Fresh Air) explaining "Lil Jon" and "crunk" to her listeners.

wait...wait...

A correction. There's nothing quite as entertaining as Terry Gross explaining what "chopped and screwed " means.

I was writing this as I was listening to the program, so I didn't know she'd top herself.

There's nothing quite as entertaining as Terry Gross (of NPR's Fresh Air) explaining "Lil Jon" and "crunk" to her listeners.

wait...wait...

A correction. There's nothing quite as entertaining as Terry Gross explaining what "chopped and screwed " means.

I was writing this as I was listening to the program, so I didn't know she'd top herself.

I'm in Dallas for the evening, mainly because it took me so long to get done with work, and the ice is so bad near my family's home (Mississippi), that I'm stuck here. Plus, I have to leave so early, I can't even go out or hang with my friends. I really wanted a Mocha, but I'm right next to one of the seedier areas of town, and it's all cheap office space, porn stores, and liquor stores, and no coffee places (what, like a drunk who just got a happy ending at a massage parlor wouldn't want a latte?).

One thing makes it all better. I drove by a church called (swear to God) "Fifth Church of Christ, Scientist." Scientist? Is this Christian science? Do they think Jesus had a PHD? Fifth?

I'm so starting a church. "First Church of Christ, Esq." You have to come in pleated pinstripe suits and bow ties, with a pocket watch and a monocle. Even the women.

Ooo. That's kinda hot.

P.S. - Free broadband at my hotel. Whee!

I'm in Dallas for the evening, mainly because it took me so long to get done with work, and the ice is so bad near my family's home (Mississippi), that I'm stuck here. Plus, I have to leave so early, I can't even go out or hang with my friends. I really wanted a Mocha, but I'm right next to one of the seedier areas of town, and it's all cheap office space, porn stores, and liquor stores, and no coffee places (what, like a drunk who just got a happy ending at a massage parlor wouldn't want a latte?).

One thing makes it all better. I drove by a church called (swear to God) "Fifth Church of Christ, Scientist." Scientist? Is this Christian science? Do they think Jesus had a PHD? Fifth?

I'm so starting a church. "First Church of Christ, Esq." You have to come in pleated pinstripe suits and bow ties, with a pocket watch and a monocle. Even the women.

Ooo. That's kinda hot.

P.S. - Free broadband at my hotel. Whee!

Holy freakin' crap! I'm #1 on Yahoo image search for the word "blog"! Whee!

P.S. - Sorry for no entries in awhile. It's been a loooooong holiday. Lots of stuff coming soon...

Holy freakin' crap! I'm #1 on Yahoo image search for the word "blog"! Whee!

P.S. - Sorry for no entries in awhile. It's been a loooooong holiday. Lots of stuff coming soon...

Combos are the cheese filled snack of Nascar.

Marlboro sent me a pack of cards for my birthday.

There's nothing quite so sad as the sight of a guy who has a driveway that crosses a railroad track, unable to get to his house because of a passing train. A really long passenger train. That stops.

Scary = A tanker truck passing you, coated with those little red "Flammable" squares, and the words "Lil' Bit Crazy" scrawled on the back (Really. Rick's LP Gas, Pine Bluff Arkansas.)

Funny = "SAE Cockmobile" written on the back of a passing BMW.

Heroin is really easy to come by in Memphis.

Fried corn on the cob. Battered, fried corn on the cob. Really.

McDonald's outside of Waco give you ketchup and napkins without having to ask.

A sign on the highway announced that I was passing over Wallflower Creek. There was no creek. Nor was there a place for a creek.

There's nothing quite so "Mad Max" as an 18 wheeler barreling down the road with a load of wrecked cars.

Two things children can say and get away with: "I eat my friends so I can get stronger," and "If you can't beat it, eat it."

Children open Christmas gifts really fast.

Apparently, RoseArt sucks.

Razor scooters come with the warning label, "This product moves when used."

The term "Phantom truckstop" exists.

It was so cold in Mississippi this Christmas, that when I returned to my father's house one night, I found a bird right by the front door, jammed into a corner so tightly, that I wasn't even sure it was a bird. I gave it a little nudge with my foot, he pulled his head out to give me a look I could only describe as annoyed, before jamming his head back in the corner. He was gone the next morning.

The owner of Vicksburg's Battlefield Inn highly reccomends Vicksburg's Battlefield Inn.

Want to buy a mocha while on a road trip from Texas to Mississippi? Good luck.

Stopping at a Wal-Mart to get a new FM transmitter to replace the one I broke (which I borroewd from a friend who will soon get a new iTrip), I went to check out at a line manned my a woman with an astonishing amount of little bows in her hair (20+). I asked her if there was a Starbucks nearby. This (to the best of my memory) was her response: "Sure! You just come out of the Wal-Mart parking lot and head that-a-way. Go under the highway, and keep heading in that direction. You'll pass a McDonalds and a Wendy's, just keep going. There's a Sonic, then you pass an Eckerd's, then a Target, just keep going straight. There's um, there's a Taco Bell and a movie theater and a Blockbuster, just keep on going past the light with the Blockbuster. You'll get up near the mall, you go past the Home Depot, then the Old Navy and the Best Buy, and there's the Starbucks. It's about 20 miles."

There's a game called Super Dumbass Ball.

Combos are the cheese filled snack of Nascar.

Marlboro sent me a pack of cards for my birthday.

There's nothing quite so sad as the sight of a guy who has a driveway that crosses a railroad track, unable to get to his house because of a passing train. A really long passenger train. That stops.

Scary = A tanker truck passing you, coated with those little red "Flammable" squares, and the words "Lil' Bit Crazy" scrawled on the back (Really. Rick's LP Gas, Pine Bluff Arkansas.)

Funny = "SAE Cockmobile" written on the back of a passing BMW.

Heroin is really easy to come by in Memphis.

Fried corn on the cob. Battered, fried corn on the cob. Really.

McDonald's outside of Waco give you ketchup and napkins without having to ask.

A sign on the highway announced that I was passing over Wallflower Creek. There was no creek. Nor was there a place for a creek.

There's nothing quite so "Mad Max" as an 18 wheeler barreling down the road with a load of wrecked cars.

Two things children can say and get away with: "I eat my friends so I can get stronger," and "If you can't beat it, eat it."

Children open Christmas gifts really fast.

Apparently, RoseArt sucks.

Razor scooters come with the warning label, "This product moves when used."

The term "Phantom truckstop" exists.

It was so cold in Mississippi this Christmas, that when I returned to my father's house one night, I found a bird right by the front door, jammed into a corner so tightly, that I wasn't even sure it was a bird. I gave it a little nudge with my foot, he pulled his head out to give me a look I could only describe as annoyed, before jamming his head back in the corner. He was gone the next morning.

The owner of Vicksburg's Battlefield Inn highly reccomends Vicksburg's Battlefield Inn.

Want to buy a mocha while on a road trip from Texas to Mississippi? Good luck.

Stopping at a Wal-Mart to get a new FM transmitter to replace the one I broke (which I borroewd from a friend who will soon get a new iTrip), I went to check out at a line manned my a woman with an astonishing amount of little bows in her hair (20+). I asked her if there was a Starbucks nearby. This (to the best of my memory) was her response: "Sure! You just come out of the Wal-Mart parking lot and head that-a-way. Go under the highway, and keep heading in that direction. You'll pass a McDonalds and a Wendy's, just keep going. There's a Sonic, then you pass an Eckerd's, then a Target, just keep going straight. There's um, there's a Taco Bell and a movie theater and a Blockbuster, just keep on going past the light with the Blockbuster. You'll get up near the mall, you go past the Home Depot, then the Old Navy and the Best Buy, and there's the Starbucks. It's about 20 miles."

There's a game called Super Dumbass Ball.

She has at least four gold teeth.

She has at least four gold teeth.

I've always felt that Johnny Carson represented the biggest gap of relation to most of the friends I have now, most of whom are too young to remember him. Johnny Carson represents a great deal of different things to me that I can't quite put across to people. Mostly I remember Charlie, this woman from home who baby sat me and my sister every once and awhile, and how she'd let me stay up past my bedtime to watch The Tonight Show. My sister would get so pissed that I got special treatment, and I simply didn't care. I just wanted to watch Johnny.

There are several people whom I'd like to have lunch with, just ask a couple of questions, hear some stories. Nothing fancy, just lunch. Now there's one less on that list.

I've always felt that Johnny Carson represented the biggest gap of relation to most of the friends I have now, most of whom are too young to remember him. Johnny Carson represents a great deal of different things to me that I can't quite put across to people. Mostly I remember Charlie, this woman from home who baby sat me and my sister every once and awhile, and how she'd let me stay up past my bedtime to watch The Tonight Show. My sister would get so pissed that I got special treatment, and I simply didn't care. I just wanted to watch Johnny.

There are several people whom I'd like to have lunch with, just ask a couple of questions, hear some stories. Nothing fancy, just lunch. Now there's one less on that list.

Tasty. All vegetable-y and stuff. Not too hot though. Just felt like sharing.

Tasty. All vegetable-y and stuff. Not too hot though. Just felt like sharing.

Disclaimer: This is in no way a barb about our fighting men overseas, just about questionable election tactics.

I was listening to the radio, and I heard that Donald Rumsfeld was in the Middle East, and that one of the things he did was to present a wounded soldier with his second Purple Heart.

The first thing that popped in my head was "Cool! If he gives the guy one more, he can call him a coward and a liar!"

Disclaimer: This is in no way a barb about our fighting men overseas, just about questionable election tactics.

I was listening to the radio, and I heard that Donald Rumsfeld was in the Middle East, and that one of the things he did was to present a wounded soldier with his second Purple Heart.

The first thing that popped in my head was "Cool! If he gives the guy one more, he can call him a coward and a liar!"

CHICAGO, Illinois (AP) -- A couple whose frozen embryo was accidentally destroyed at a fertility clinic has the right in Illinois to file a wrongful-death lawsuit, a judge has ruled in a case that some legal experts say could have implications in the debate over embryonic stem cell research.

In an opinion issued Friday, Cook County Judge Jeffrey Lawrence said "a pre-embryo is a 'human being' ... whether or not it is implanted in its mother's womb."

He said the couple is as entitled to seek compensation as any parents whose child has been killed.

CHICAGO, Illinois (AP) -- A couple whose frozen embryo was accidentally destroyed at a fertility clinic has the right in Illinois to file a wrongful-death lawsuit, a judge has ruled in a case that some legal experts say could have implications in the debate over embryonic stem cell research.

In an opinion issued Friday, Cook County Judge Jeffrey Lawrence said "a pre-embryo is a 'human being' ... whether or not it is implanted in its mother's womb."

He said the couple is as entitled to seek compensation as any parents whose child has been killed.

"It was like watching an egg hatching slowly," said Olufunmibi Awoshiley, a hospital administrator, "and I didn't know what it was going to look like. Now I see it, and it's beautiful."

The Gates went up today in New York. Looks awesome. Bummed I didn't get to go and help (In case you were unaware, I was supposed to be one of the workers. I hate money.).

Video at NYT.

"It was like watching an egg hatching slowly," said Olufunmibi Awoshiley, a hospital administrator, "and I didn't know what it was going to look like. Now I see it, and it's beautiful."

The Gates went up today in New York. Looks awesome. Bummed I didn't get to go and help (In case you were unaware, I was supposed to be one of the workers. I hate money.).

Video at NYT.

Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit! My server crashed, so a week of my online life has disappeared! Shit!

Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit! My server crashed, so a week of my online life has disappeared! Shit!

Fantastic 4. 4 this, 4 that. Every ad, tagline, everything about that movie is 4. Watch the trailer, 4s everywhere. Ends with "July 4th."

Then you notice the bottom of the page:

"July 8th, 2005"

Somewhere in California, there's a producer vomiting.

Fantastic 4. 4 this, 4 that. Every ad, tagline, everything about that movie is 4. Watch the trailer, 4s everywhere. Ends with "July 4th."

Then you notice the bottom of the page:

"July 8th, 2005"

Somewhere in California, there's a producer vomiting.

Disclaimer: Let me preface this by saying that I think that those who view child pornography really need help, and those who make child pornography should be shot.

I read an article in the paper today about an 18 year old college freshman who was arrested on charges of owning child porn. Here's what bothers me: according to the article, he gave his laptop to a computer technician to install a new hard drive. "The technician discovered a video file of two boys 'engaging in sexual conduct.'"

Discovered? That means he was watching this guy's videos. If it was pictures, I could see him "discovering" photos, as they are often thumbnailed in file displays. I know that videos are thumbnailed too, but they're often just a black square or binary garbage. It's possible that the thumbnail showed a troubling image, and it's also possible that the file was called "Two underage boys engaging in sexual activity." But it still makes me wonder.

Also, I don't know about you, but I've downloaded a file called something like "funny birthday party! funny!" before, just to see a car wreck or someone falling down a flight of stairs. The net is laden with that kind of crap. According to the article, there was one video on his computer. One. It would be a crying shame if this kid's life is ruined because of something like that.

Disclaimer: Let me preface this by saying that I think that those who view child pornography really need help, and those who make child pornography should be shot.

I read an article in the paper today about an 18 year old college freshman who was arrested on charges of owning child porn. Here's what bothers me: according to the article, he gave his laptop to a computer technician to install a new hard drive. "The technician discovered a video file of two boys 'engaging in sexual conduct.'"

Discovered? That means he was watching this guy's videos. If it was pictures, I could see him "discovering" photos, as they are often thumbnailed in file displays. I know that videos are thumbnailed too, but they're often just a black square or binary garbage. It's possible that the thumbnail showed a troubling image, and it's also possible that the file was called "Two underage boys engaging in sexual activity." But it still makes me wonder.

Also, I don't know about you, but I've downloaded a file called something like "funny birthday party! funny!" before, just to see a car wreck or someone falling down a flight of stairs. The net is laden with that kind of crap. According to the article, there was one video on his computer. One. It would be a crying shame if this kid's life is ruined because of something like that.

"My life changed completely in 1967. Oh, and I was born in 1974."

"My life changed completely in 1967. Oh, and I was born in 1974."

Went to Austin yesterday, got back today. Things I learned:

My girlfriend is somewhat awesome (knew that already).

The Bob 103.5 FM is a good radio station.

Songs that are still good: U Can't Touch This, Our House, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.

Song that is no longer good (never was, really): Pump Up the Jam.

Little City Coffeehouse coffee isn't that great, but I like the atmosphere.

Some people like to jog backwards.

Waterloo records is kind of expensive, but you always find something you have to have.

Fewer things are more awesome than clear 45s. Except maybe the swirly ones.

BookPeople is a awesome bookstore (across from Waterloo).

Moleskine makes neat little $2 notebooks that fit neatly into the back pocket.

PT Cruisers suck.

Went to Austin yesterday, got back today. Things I learned:

My girlfriend is somewhat awesome (knew that already).

The Bob 103.5 FM is a good radio station.

Songs that are still good: U Can't Touch This, Our House, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.

Song that is no longer good (never was, really): Pump Up the Jam.

Little City Coffeehouse coffee isn't that great, but I like the atmosphere.

Some people like to jog backwards.

Waterloo records is kind of expensive, but you always find something you have to have.

Fewer things are more awesome than clear 45s. Except maybe the swirly ones.

BookPeople is a awesome bookstore (across from Waterloo).

Moleskine makes neat little $2 notebooks that fit neatly into the back pocket.

PT Cruisers suck.

I was on Talk of the Nation today. The subject was the distribution of digital music on the Internet, originals, mash-ups, remixes, etc. Interested to see if LO2unes gets some extra hits today.

P.S. to those who care: I'm going to revamp LO2unes in the next couple of weeks, converting distribution to BitTorrent instead of direct download. It'll take a little longer to download tracks, but I can put way more content online. I'll be putting The Blackfish Album up, as well as the first FunkaFeltaFish EP, Uncle Pork. Free beats, whee!

I was on Talk of the Nation today. The subject was the distribution of digital music on the Internet, originals, mash-ups, remixes, etc. Interested to see if LO2unes gets some extra hits today.

P.S. to those who care: I'm going to revamp LO2unes in the next couple of weeks, converting distribution to BitTorrent instead of direct download. It'll take a little longer to download tracks, but I can put way more content online. I'll be putting The Blackfish Album up, as well as the first FunkaFeltaFish EP, Uncle Pork. Free beats, whee!

I was planning on having a big record sale on April 2nd-3rd, but that has gone kaput. The Austin Record Convention is the same weekend. I called, and they said they have a few tables left, so with some luck, I might be able to take my sale there. If not, it'll probably be postponed to the next weekend.

I wish I hadn't put out so many flyers already.

I was planning on having a big record sale on April 2nd-3rd, but that has gone kaput. The Austin Record Convention is the same weekend. I called, and they said they have a few tables left, so with some luck, I might be able to take my sale there. If not, it'll probably be postponed to the next weekend.

I wish I hadn't put out so many flyers already.

Guess which day I plugged my website on NPR's Talk of the Nation. Go on, guess.

Guess which day I plugged my website on NPR's Talk of the Nation. Go on, guess.

Call me a hippie, whatever. Can someone tell me why you can't buy sprouts anymore? All I want to do is make a big sandwich, and it's lacking. I like mayo and avocado on my big sandwich, and sprouts are the magical little vegetable that binds the whole bread/mayo/sprouts/avocado/meat side of the sandwich together. Dammit!

Call me a hippie, whatever. Can someone tell me why you can't buy sprouts anymore? All I want to do is make a big sandwich, and it's lacking. I like mayo and avocado on my big sandwich, and sprouts are the magical little vegetable that binds the whole bread/mayo/sprouts/avocado/meat side of the sandwich together. Dammit!

China syndrome - noun

Definition: a hypothetical sequence of events following a nuclear reactor meltdown, in which the core melts through its container and deep into the earth
Etymology: from China's being on the opposite side of the earth from a U.S. nuclear reactor

Um, what do you call it if the reactor's in China?

China syndrome - noun

Definition: a hypothetical sequence of events following a nuclear reactor meltdown, in which the core melts through its container and deep into the earth
Etymology: from China's being on the opposite side of the earth from a U.S. nuclear reactor

Um, what do you call it if the reactor's in China?

Been in Austin selling records at a convention. Didn't do as well as I had hoped, but none of the dealers did. Still, I paid for the trip and got some cash on top, so it's OK.

I found out that the Pope died. About ten minutes later, I found out that Mitch Hedberg died. Is it weird that Hedberg bothered me more?

Anyway, I'm spending the day in Little City Coffeehouse, near the UT campus (I can see the tower from here). Gonna do some work, watch some people. A mini-vacation.

Been in Austin selling records at a convention. Didn't do as well as I had hoped, but none of the dealers did. Still, I paid for the trip and got some cash on top, so it's OK.

I found out that the Pope died. About ten minutes later, I found out that Mitch Hedberg died. Is it weird that Hedberg bothered me more?

Anyway, I'm spending the day in Little City Coffeehouse, near the UT campus (I can see the tower from here). Gonna do some work, watch some people. A mini-vacation.

I was driving East down 17th street towards I-35 (one way, 4 lanes), and I was in the leftmost lane. A guy was walking West on the sidewalk by the rightmost lane. He stepped out a couple of feet into the lane and kicked an empty can of Skoal towards me. I shifted the car over about a foot and crushed the can with my right front tire. The guy pumped his fist like we scored a goal in some kind of twisted MOPAR street hockey derivative. It was awesome.

I was driving East down 17th street towards I-35 (one way, 4 lanes), and I was in the leftmost lane. A guy was walking West on the sidewalk by the rightmost lane. He stepped out a couple of feet into the lane and kicked an empty can of Skoal towards me. I shifted the car over about a foot and crushed the can with my right front tire. The guy pumped his fist like we scored a goal in some kind of twisted MOPAR street hockey derivative. It was awesome.

It was my S.O.'s birthday this weekend, so I went to visit her. I got really drunk at her party. Really really drunk. Like, "I just want to sit here on the balcony while I stare at this bit of wood and repeatedly say 'stop moving stop moving stop moving,' while marveling at the concept of the cold sweat and trying not to justify horking in the salad bowl my girlfriend was kind enough to leave for me, even though I would feel better if I did but NO NO NO YOU ARE NOT A PUKER you can hold it down you're a man A MAN YOU HEAR ME just ride it out and heep looking at the wood so you won't end up being that guy, you're not that guy, oh God I have to poop" kind of drunk.

Thankfully, no hangover (thanks vodka!).

It was my S.O.'s birthday this weekend, so I went to visit her. I got really drunk at her party. Really really drunk. Like, "I just want to sit here on the balcony while I stare at this bit of wood and repeatedly say 'stop moving stop moving stop moving,' while marveling at the concept of the cold sweat and trying not to justify horking in the salad bowl my girlfriend was kind enough to leave for me, even though I would feel better if I did but NO NO NO YOU ARE NOT A PUKER you can hold it down you're a man A MAN YOU HEAR ME just ride it out and heep looking at the wood so you won't end up being that guy, you're not that guy, oh God I have to poop" kind of drunk.

Thankfully, no hangover (thanks vodka!).

If you use Firefox, don't click "open in tabs" in one of your bookmark folders with 100 links in it. Just don't. Even if you're really curious to see what will happen. It's bad.

If you use Firefox, don't click "open in tabs" in one of your bookmark folders with 100 links in it. Just don't. Even if you're really curious to see what will happen. It's bad.

I don't have a PSP. All my friends have one. I'm sad. I want to watch movies and play wipeout and websurf and listen to mp3s and be cool and spend way too much on a handheld. I just want to be happy.

I don't have a PSP. All my friends have one. I'm sad. I want to watch movies and play wipeout and websurf and listen to mp3s and be cool and spend way too much on a handheld. I just want to be happy.

My entry for Twelve on Uncyclopedia has been deleted.

Let me explain. My fake definition of a word in an encyclopedia of fake information has been deleted. It apparently wasn't fake enough.

Personally, I think the medieval act rending elves in twain (twain elves, to the Old English Twaelves, or Twaelving, to the modern Twelve) was pretty good, as far as fake definitions go.

Ah, screw 'em.

My entry for Twelve on Uncyclopedia has been deleted.

Let me explain. My fake definition of a word in an encyclopedia of fake information has been deleted. It apparently wasn't fake enough.

Personally, I think the medieval act rending elves in twain (twain elves, to the Old English Twaelves, or Twaelving, to the modern Twelve) was pretty good, as far as fake definitions go.

Ah, screw 'em.

I hate it when people steal my bandwidth.

I hate it when people steal my bandwidth.

13063 hits in one day! My first day over 10000.

Why does this make me so happy?

13063 hits in one day! My first day over 10000.

Why does this make me so happy?

My page has become less of a "Here's why I'm angry and therefore pensive and attractive to the opposite sex" page and more of a "Hey! Look at the thing with the blinky and shiny! It's expensive and there's a motor in it! (Link)" page.

Simply put, I'm really busy. I'm tired of being broke all the time, so I'm trying to get my shit together a little. Plus I have a girlfriend.

Anyway, I'll try to get back on the ball soon enough.

P.S. - You may have noticed the Google Ads. Scream "Sellout!" all you want, but I got a roof to fix and dental work needs doin'. I made 14 cents so far. Woo!

My page has become less of a "Here's why I'm angry and therefore pensive and attractive to the opposite sex" page and more of a "Hey! Look at the thing with the blinky and shiny! It's expensive and there's a motor in it! (Link)" page.

Simply put, I'm really busy. I'm tired of being broke all the time, so I'm trying to get my shit together a little. Plus I have a girlfriend.

Anyway, I'll try to get back on the ball soon enough.

P.S. - You may have noticed the Google Ads. Scream "Sellout!" all you want, but I got a roof to fix and dental work needs doin'. I made 14 cents so far. Woo!

I was talking with Nikonius about anime and manga. I've become something of a nut for Korean films over the last year or so, and I asked him if he thought that I might be trying to compensate for the fact that Japanese media has become too mainstream, and in my unconscious pursuit to be indie (read: cool to the ladies), I shifted my attention to Korea (even though it's really no secret anymore). He thought that was not the case, and that I was overthinking things.

It still bugged me, however. What would be the indicator that Japanese entertainment/media culture had reached critical mass (read: diffusion, watering down) in the U.S.? I needed an answer.

Now I Have One.

I was talking with Nikonius about anime and manga. I've become something of a nut for Korean films over the last year or so, and I asked him if he thought that I might be trying to compensate for the fact that Japanese media has become too mainstream, and in my unconscious pursuit to be indie (read: cool to the ladies), I shifted my attention to Korea (even though it's really no secret anymore). He thought that was not the case, and that I was overthinking things.

It still bugged me, however. What would be the indicator that Japanese entertainment/media culture had reached critical mass (read: diffusion, watering down) in the U.S.? I needed an answer.

Now I Have One.

While in medical school, Senate majority leader Bill Frist adopted cats from Boston animal shelters, telling shelter staff he intended to keep them as pets. He would then experiment on and kill the animals as part of his medical studies.

This guy is gonna be the Republican candidate for president in 2008. Bet on it.

I don't care if the democrats pick a duck billed platypus next time. My bumper is gonna read "Platypus 2008."

While in medical school, Senate majority leader Bill Frist adopted cats from Boston animal shelters, telling shelter staff he intended to keep them as pets. He would then experiment on and kill the animals as part of his medical studies.

This guy is gonna be the Republican candidate for president in 2008. Bet on it.

I don't care if the democrats pick a duck billed platypus next time. My bumper is gonna read "Platypus 2008."

So there's this cat. This damn cat. I mad a cat door for my cat, so she wouldn't have to wait for me to get in and eat, and this other damn cat decided to start coming in my house to eat all of my cat's food. I would come in the house, and here's this cat. It would freak the hell out, bolting and hissing, and tear out of the cat door, ripping it up a little more each time.

And then I rebuilt the cat door. Better. Stronger. Faster. OK, not faster, but you get the idea.

Problem is, the door now only goes in, and my cat has to pull on it to get out. Not a big deal for my cat, but the other one is too busy freaking out to stop and pull on it, and instead opts for hissing, freaking out, and running all around my house, breaking shit.

The first time, I just opened the front door, and Shit Cat (I'm gonna call the other cat 'Shit Cat' for the rest of this post to avoid confusion) ran the hell out. Minor Shit Cat damage.

The day before yesterday, I wake up from a nap, and Shit Cat is napping on my dining room table. I don't see him until he flips the hell out and leaps five feet in the air, snagging the top rung of some of my blinds and hissing its Shit Cat head off. So, I open the door, and go to the other room for a broom, to assist in herding Shit Cat out the door. I come back with the broom, and shit cat's gone.

Or so I thought.

Shit Cat was not gone. Shit Cat was jammed behind my washer/dryer, waiting. I leave for work, and Shit Cat comes out, eats almost all of my cat's food (there was a lot of food), and then proceeds to break all my shit. This freaking cat pulled down half a dozen of my blinds, knocked down books, CDs, a lamp, etc.

And then the fucker peed. And I can't figure out where.

Anyway, Shit Cat is awaiting me when I return, with hissing and gnashing of teeth. He then proceeds to smash himself against the windows with surprising force, climbing some of the last remaining blinds, breaking a curtain, and then smashing into more windows (I honestly don't know how he didn't break them all.), before running to his washer/dryer hidey hole.

With great patience, I opened the back door, then slowly forced the cat from behind the washer, at which point he bolted out the back door.

Honestly, about 10% of me wants to beat the cat senseless. The other 90% just needs a good idea of what to do short of using kitty tranq darts.

My house smells like cat pee.

So there's this cat. This damn cat. I mad a cat door for my cat, so she wouldn't have to wait for me to get in and eat, and this other damn cat decided to start coming in my house to eat all of my cat's food. I would come in the house, and here's this cat. It would freak the hell out, bolting and hissing, and tear out of the cat door, ripping it up a little more each time.

And then I rebuilt the cat door. Better. Stronger. Faster. OK, not faster, but you get the idea.

Problem is, the door now only goes in, and my cat has to pull on it to get out. Not a big deal for my cat, but the other one is too busy freaking out to stop and pull on it, and instead opts for hissing, freaking out, and running all around my house, breaking shit.

The first time, I just opened the front door, and Shit Cat (I'm gonna call the other cat 'Shit Cat' for the rest of this post to avoid confusion) ran the hell out. Minor Shit Cat damage.

The day before yesterday, I wake up from a nap, and Shit Cat is napping on my dining room table. I don't see him until he flips the hell out and leaps five feet in the air, snagging the top rung of some of my blinds and hissing its Shit Cat head off. So, I open the door, and go to the other room for a broom, to assist in herding Shit Cat out the door. I come back with the broom, and shit cat's gone.

Or so I thought.

Shit Cat was not gone. Shit Cat was jammed behind my washer/dryer, waiting. I leave for work, and Shit Cat comes out, eats almost all of my cat's food (there was a lot of food), and then proceeds to break all my shit. This freaking cat pulled down half a dozen of my blinds, knocked down books, CDs, a lamp, etc.

And then the fucker peed. And I can't figure out where.

Anyway, Shit Cat is awaiting me when I return, with hissing and gnashing of teeth. He then proceeds to smash himself against the windows with surprising force, climbing some of the last remaining blinds, breaking a curtain, and then smashing into more windows (I honestly don't know how he didn't break them all.), before running to his washer/dryer hidey hole.

With great patience, I opened the back door, then slowly forced the cat from behind the washer, at which point he bolted out the back door.

Honestly, about 10% of me wants to beat the cat senseless. The other 90% just needs a good idea of what to do short of using kitty tranq darts.

My house smells like cat pee.

Deep Throat is no longer a mystery. He's a pleasant-seeming old man suffering from dementia.

Don't get me wrong, I think he did a great serviece to this country, risking god knows what to get information about government corruption to the press. I just had a dark, sinister trenchcoated cloak-and-dagger kind of thing in my head. That's all.

Deep Throat is no longer a mystery. He's a pleasant-seeming old man suffering from dementia.

Don't get me wrong, I think he did a great serviece to this country, risking god knows what to get information about government corruption to the press. I just had a dark, sinister trenchcoated cloak-and-dagger kind of thing in my head. That's all.

Well, I went to the dentist today. I've been needing to go forever, but I just haven't had the cash.

Just haven't had the cash. Wow. I totally thought I knew what that meant.

Example. The cleaning I need before I actually get any work done: $200 plus. Per quad. A quad is 1/4 of your teeth. Four appointments. $800+ total. Yikes.

I am so screwed.

Well, I went to the dentist today. I've been needing to go forever, but I just haven't had the cash.

Just haven't had the cash. Wow. I totally thought I knew what that meant.

Example. The cleaning I need before I actually get any work done: $200 plus. Per quad. A quad is 1/4 of your teeth. Four appointments. $800+ total. Yikes.

I am so screwed.

For those of you who don't know me personally, I work for a PBS/NPR station as operations manager. One of my offices is in the basement of a recently vacated science building (they moved to new, fancier, asbestos-free digs). One of the benifits of the recent move is that I got lots of free stuff. Gear to eBay, my TV, etc. Stuff they were just gonna junk.

Anyway, there's this one huge room near my office that's always locked, and it's been open recently, to facilitate moving more crap to the science building. So I think "Whee! More free stuff," and I take a peek.

A quarter million dead things.

No kidding. This room (essentially one really long hallway) is shadowed by a storage room, running its entire length, filled floor to ceiling with jars full of dead things. A quarter million dead things. Snakes, fish, fetal this, deformed that, pickled the other. We're talking an eighth of a mile of dead flesh and formaldehyde.

This explains so much about my job. Lotta bad juju.

For those of you who don't know me personally, I work for a PBS/NPR station as operations manager. One of my offices is in the basement of a recently vacated science building (they moved to new, fancier, asbestos-free digs). One of the benifits of the recent move is that I got lots of free stuff. Gear to eBay, my TV, etc. Stuff they were just gonna junk.

Anyway, there's this one huge room near my office that's always locked, and it's been open recently, to facilitate moving more crap to the science building. So I think "Whee! More free stuff," and I take a peek.

A quarter million dead things.

No kidding. This room (essentially one really long hallway) is shadowed by a storage room, running its entire length, filled floor to ceiling with jars full of dead things. A quarter million dead things. Snakes, fish, fetal this, deformed that, pickled the other. We're talking an eighth of a mile of dead flesh and formaldehyde.

This explains so much about my job. Lotta bad juju.

Seriously. Go to the dentist every six months. No matter what.

I am a full grown 270 pound man, and my ass was just on the floor, legs crossed, rocking back and forth and humming, in the hopes that it would ease the horrifying fucking pain in my mouth, while I waited for the six Advil I crushed with a spoon in a comic book polybag (it was the closest usable thing to hold the pills) to take effect.

13 more days to my first appointment! Ow.

Addendum: Vicodin sucks. All it does is make you feel unfoucused and crappy, and does nothing for pain. Vicodin and Advil, however...

Seriously. Go to the dentist every six months. No matter what.

I am a full grown 270 pound man, and my ass was just on the floor, legs crossed, rocking back and forth and humming, in the hopes that it would ease the horrifying fucking pain in my mouth, while I waited for the six Advil I crushed with a spoon in a comic book polybag (it was the closest usable thing to hold the pills) to take effect.

13 more days to my first appointment! Ow.

Addendum: Vicodin sucks. All it does is make you feel unfoucused and crappy, and does nothing for pain. Vicodin and Advil, however...

I just spent 10 minutes watching George Neumayr (American Spectator) go off on the Newshour about how the "Liberal Monopoly" of public broadcasting has to be stopped. He spent a good half of his time on screen railing about Bill Moyers and Postcards from Buster, and how they're destroying America.

First of all, Moyers retired. Granted, Now (his show) has morphed into a new program with the same general driving ideas (at half the length), but no Moyers. On top of that, Now is half an hour out of 21 hours of PBS primetime.

Secondly, Postcards from Buster is not a lesbian sexfest. One episode out of the entire series has a kid on it, and that kid happened to have two mommies. So what. By the way, about 95% of PBS stations chose to not air it, after the stink that was raised (btw, most who were doing the stinking never saw it). Of course, it's not like 95% of PBS stations went off the air, as they had about a billion other episodes to pick from.

That's it. Moyers and an animated rabbit. That was his argument.

A couple of things:

Arthur - One of the best written children's shows anywhere.
Between the Lions - A close second.
Teletubbies - Yes it's stupid, but two year olds think it's awesome.
Cyberchase - Teaching math. Ooo. That's pure evil.
Zoom - It's Zoom.
Jakers, Dragon Tales, Berenstain Bears, Caillou, Maya & Miguel.

Sesame Street. Sesame. Street.

Nova
Nature
Frontline - The best documentary series in the history of television.
Independent Lens
Newshour
Great Performances
Mystery
American Masters
Religion & Ethics Newsweekly
Washington Week
Lawrence Welk
Wall Street Week with Fortune
McLaughlin Group
This Old House
Rick Steves' Europe
Austin City Limits

Mister Rogers' Neighborhood.

You heartless bastards.

Public broadcasting isn't one guy and one animated rabbit curious to learn about alternative lifestyles. Public broadcasting is something in the heart of generations of Americans in that little compartment that still remembers childhood. It's a family's chance to encourage one another to learn, without forcing it. It's a night at the Met for an old woman who doesn't have the money to fly to New York. It's fixing the shower a little better this time, having something different to eat at dinner, a song you just can't get out of your head.

It's a good thing, and I'm damn proud that I'm a part of it.

George Neumayr is cordially invited to wear my ass as a hat.

I just spent 10 minutes watching George Neumayr (American Spectator) go off on the Newshour about how the "Liberal Monopoly" of public broadcasting has to be stopped. He spent a good half of his time on screen railing about Bill Moyers and Postcards from Buster, and how they're destroying America.

First of all, Moyers retired. Granted, Now (his show) has morphed into a new program with the same general driving ideas (at half the length), but no Moyers. On top of that, Now is half an hour out of 21 hours of PBS primetime.

Secondly, Postcards from Buster is not a lesbian sexfest. One episode out of the entire series has a kid on it, and that kid happened to have two mommies. So what. By the way, about 95% of PBS stations chose to not air it, after the stink that was raised (btw, most who were doing the stinking never saw it). Of course, it's not like 95% of PBS stations went off the air, as they had about a billion other episodes to pick from.

That's it. Moyers and an animated rabbit. That was his argument.

A couple of things:

Arthur - One of the best written children's shows anywhere.
Between the Lions - A close second.
Teletubbies - Yes it's stupid, but two year olds think it's awesome.
Cyberchase - Teaching math. Ooo. That's pure evil.
Zoom - It's Zoom.
Jakers, Dragon Tales, Berenstain Bears, Caillou, Maya & Miguel.

Sesame Street. Sesame. Street.

Nova
Nature
Frontline - The best documentary series in the history of television.
Independent Lens
Newshour
Great Performances
Mystery
American Masters
Religion & Ethics Newsweekly
Washington Week
Lawrence Welk
Wall Street Week with Fortune
McLaughlin Group
This Old House
Rick Steves' Europe
Austin City Limits

Mister Rogers' Neighborhood.

You heartless bastards.

Public broadcasting isn't one guy and one animated rabbit curious to learn about alternative lifestyles. Public broadcasting is something in the heart of generations of Americans in that little compartment that still remembers childhood. It's a family's chance to encourage one another to learn, without forcing it. It's a night at the Met for an old woman who doesn't have the money to fly to New York. It's fixing the shower a little better this time, having something different to eat at dinner, a song you just can't get out of your head.

It's a good thing, and I'm damn proud that I'm a part of it.

George Neumayr is cordially invited to wear my ass as a hat.

Reading GQ (I know, I know, a great place to get government journalism), I ran across this:

"Alaska is set to recieve 2.2 Billion from the 2004 highway bill to build two bridges - one leading to a town of fifty people and a tiny airport (where there's already regular ferry service), and the other to a port housing just one guy."

What the fuck.

Reading GQ (I know, I know, a great place to get government journalism), I ran across this:

"Alaska is set to recieve 2.2 Billion from the 2004 highway bill to build two bridges - one leading to a town of fifty people and a tiny airport (where there's already regular ferry service), and the other to a port housing just one guy."

What the fuck.

Get this: Bush plugged AmericaSupportsYou.mil on TV tonight. If you click "Order Lapel Pins," then click the pin, it takes you to a store. Under "Search," select "$0.00-$0.50" and click "GO." You will find the "Made in the USA Gift Store" for sale for $0.00. You can add it to your cart, check out, charge it, everything.

According to the site, "The Made in the USA Gift Store offers a brand new line of fine American keepsakes from C. Forbes Inc. An extensive collection of jewelry, fine china, books, framed art, and writing instruments and accessories - All Made in the U.S.A."

Not bad for $5.00 shipping.

Get this: Bush plugged AmericaSupportsYou.mil on TV tonight. If you click "Order Lapel Pins," then click the pin, it takes you to a store. Under "Search," select "$0.00-$0.50" and click "GO." You will find the "Made in the USA Gift Store" for sale for $0.00. You can add it to your cart, check out, charge it, everything.

According to the site, "The Made in the USA Gift Store offers a brand new line of fine American keepsakes from C. Forbes Inc. An extensive collection of jewelry, fine china, books, framed art, and writing instruments and accessories - All Made in the U.S.A."

Not bad for $5.00 shipping.

So I'm at work, and I decide to take a smoke break. I grab my copy of Never Mind The Pollacks by Neal Pollack (which gets better as I go), and head outside.

I'm smoking by the big garbage can outside (an unconscious marker of being far enough from the door that none of the office ladies will complain, and to minimize the risk of fake 'I hate you for smoking' coughers), and reading my book. Enjoying the cigarette, really enjoying the book. A small sun shower begins, followed by a slight, but pleasant reduction in temperature. I was happy.

I reach over to my side and grab the can from off the lid of the garbage can, and take a sip.

Hmm. This doesn't taste like my Diet Coke with Splenda. More like Diet Dr. Pepper.

I WASN'T DRINKING OUT OF A CAN!

By now, I had figured out that I had taken a sip of someone else's old soda, which had been sitting out here for god knows how long.

I had not swallowed.

This is the part where I would spew soda in a great arc in front of me. If it wasn't for the three girls that just exited the building, headed in my direction. Walking slowly. Like Matrix slow.

So here I am, a mouthful of god-knows-who's soda in my mouth, all I can do to keep from dribbling warm soda in front of these girls, or spewing in the arc I had originally planned, which would have soaked them (Down wet t-shirt fantasies! Down!).

I nod, and look down at my book, waiting for them to round the corner. I keep staring at the page, at the word Ubermensch. Ubermensch Ubermensch Ubermensch Ubermensch Ubermensch.

Corner rounded, spewing commenced, followed by a brisk mouth-washing-out, then this post.

Now I want a cigarette.

So I'm at work, and I decide to take a smoke break. I grab my copy of Never Mind The Pollacks by Neal Pollack (which gets better as I go), and head outside.

I'm smoking by the big garbage can outside (an unconscious marker of being far enough from the door that none of the office ladies will complain, and to minimize the risk of fake 'I hate you for smoking' coughers), and reading my book. Enjoying the cigarette, really enjoying the book. A small sun shower begins, followed by a slight, but pleasant reduction in temperature. I was happy.

I reach over to my side and grab the can from off the lid of the garbage can, and take a sip.

Hmm. This doesn't taste like my Diet Coke with Splenda. More like Diet Dr. Pepper.

I WASN'T DRINKING OUT OF A CAN!

By now, I had figured out that I had taken a sip of someone else's old soda, which had been sitting out here for god knows how long.

I had not swallowed.

This is the part where I would spew soda in a great arc in front of me. If it wasn't for the three girls that just exited the building, headed in my direction. Walking slowly. Like Matrix slow.

So here I am, a mouthful of god-knows-who's soda in my mouth, all I can do to keep from dribbling warm soda in front of these girls, or spewing in the arc I had originally planned, which would have soaked them (Down wet t-shirt fantasies! Down!).

I nod, and look down at my book, waiting for them to round the corner. I keep staring at the page, at the word Ubermensch. Ubermensch Ubermensch Ubermensch Ubermensch Ubermensch.

Corner rounded, spewing commenced, followed by a brisk mouth-washing-out, then this post.

Now I want a cigarette.

The Epson Stylus Color 850 Ne is my Evil Fax Machine. I need to kill it.

If you let this stupid fucking thing run out of paper, it prints hundreds of pages of crap. Seriously. Hundreds. Then it'll start working again. Maybe.

Aaaaaaaaaaa!

The Epson Stylus Color 850 Ne is my Evil Fax Machine. I need to kill it.

If you let this stupid fucking thing run out of paper, it prints hundreds of pages of crap. Seriously. Hundreds. Then it'll start working again. Maybe.

Aaaaaaaaaaa!

Face all inflated like a pumpkin. Back now.

Face all inflated like a pumpkin. Back now.

So I drag my ass out of the house to head for work, get in my POS, and start driving. Half a block from my driveway, I notice the bug. A stink bug is hanging on for dear life on my hood, looking at me. For some reason, I'm rooting for the little guy. Three stop signs before the highway, I think, three chances to jump off before certain doom. Stop one, nothing. Stop two, he just sits there, staring me down. You bastard, he seems to say, why me. Stop three. His last chance to jump off, a little far from home, granted, but alive. He looks at me, bows up (to look big), and poops stink bug juice on my hood, saying Take that, you gigantic fuck.

On to the highway, followed by a brave bug's end ten seconds later.

Do not go gently into that good night, my little stinky poop juice friend, do not go gently.

So I drag my ass out of the house to head for work, get in my POS, and start driving. Half a block from my driveway, I notice the bug. A stink bug is hanging on for dear life on my hood, looking at me. For some reason, I'm rooting for the little guy. Three stop signs before the highway, I think, three chances to jump off before certain doom. Stop one, nothing. Stop two, he just sits there, staring me down. You bastard, he seems to say, why me. Stop three. His last chance to jump off, a little far from home, granted, but alive. He looks at me, bows up (to look big), and poops stink bug juice on my hood, saying Take that, you gigantic fuck.

On to the highway, followed by a brave bug's end ten seconds later.

Do not go gently into that good night, my little stinky poop juice friend, do not go gently.

Hiya.

I haven't posted in a long while. A combination of prepping my new laptop for use (whee!), a godawful amount of work (boo.), horrifying pain/infections in my teeth (ow!), and severe lack of money (whimper...) have hampered my blogging.

Anyhoo, I'm back. Chilling at the Spider House in Austin, pretending to be indier than thou, taking a little breather from Waco and having a little quality time with my girlfriend before returning to the fray.

Talk to you soon.

Hiya.

I haven't posted in a long while. A combination of prepping my new laptop for use (whee!), a godawful amount of work (boo.), horrifying pain/infections in my teeth (ow!), and severe lack of money (whimper...) have hampered my blogging.

Anyhoo, I'm back. Chilling at the Spider House in Austin, pretending to be indier than thou, taking a little breather from Waco and having a little quality time with my girlfriend before returning to the fray.

Talk to you soon.

So I'm at Spider House again (with my girlfriend this time), and there's little kids everywhere.

It's kind of cool, really, all this kinetic kid energy bouncing all over the place. They're having fun, not too loud, not breaking stuff, it's all good.

There's this one really little kid that caught my attention. Just big enough to be walking around, but at the point where running or other advanced operations are completely unfeasible. There's this one spot on the back patio where you have to take a step up to get to the back part. I honestly never gave the step a first thought, much less a second one, until I saw this kid try to get up it.

A truly daunting six inch climb, the boy took his time assessing the situation, planning and preparing. No fool, this boy, he was going to do it right the first time. both hands flat on the ground, a truly notable angular shift of his entire body while working a foot up to the higher level, the climb was completed in a scant 40 seconds. One for the record books.

Excited about the whole climbing thing, superboy decided to take on his greatest challenge yet: four stairs. This took about a minute (mom helped, so no record). Clearly winded, superboy rested for a moment and took gleeful noisy notice of a nail (or rather the head of a nail in the patio flooring) that was particularly shiny. Clearly a highlight of the day.

We take so much for granted.

So I'm at Spider House again (with my girlfriend this time), and there's little kids everywhere.

It's kind of cool, really, all this kinetic kid energy bouncing all over the place. They're having fun, not too loud, not breaking stuff, it's all good.

There's this one really little kid that caught my attention. Just big enough to be walking around, but at the point where running or other advanced operations are completely unfeasible. There's this one spot on the back patio where you have to take a step up to get to the back part. I honestly never gave the step a first thought, much less a second one, until I saw this kid try to get up it.

A truly daunting six inch climb, the boy took his time assessing the situation, planning and preparing. No fool, this boy, he was going to do it right the first time. both hands flat on the ground, a truly notable angular shift of his entire body while working a foot up to the higher level, the climb was completed in a scant 40 seconds. One for the record books.

Excited about the whole climbing thing, superboy decided to take on his greatest challenge yet: four stairs. This took about a minute (mom helped, so no record). Clearly winded, superboy rested for a moment and took gleeful noisy notice of a nail (or rather the head of a nail in the patio flooring) that was particularly shiny. Clearly a highlight of the day.

We take so much for granted.

I am bored. Bored bored bored. I am the boredest bored that ever bored. Bored.

Oh, look! Godzilla is coming down the street in culottes and heels singing "I Wanna Be Loved By You" while doing a little soft shoe!

Not really.

Bored Bordidy bore bore bore. Mama say mama sa ma maku-bored. This is boretacular.

Piss.

I am bored. Bored bored bored. I am the boredest bored that ever bored. Bored.

Oh, look! Godzilla is coming down the street in culottes and heels singing "I Wanna Be Loved By You" while doing a little soft shoe!

Not really.

Bored Bordidy bore bore bore. Mama say mama sa ma maku-bored. This is boretacular.

Piss.

OK. So I'm pretty broke, what with having a low paying job and many many bills (They have little teeth. They bite my feet.), and I'm sick and fricking tired of fast food, which is too expensive and crappy. I like to cook, but I don't have the time to cook nice things, and I have to be frugal right now. So I've been experimenting with cheap food.

That's how I discovered the greatest creation in the history of food science: Hill Country Fare Complete Instant Mashed Potatoes.

Did you catch that? Complete and Instant. Both. Add water, and potatoes. Actually, it's much simpler than that. You don't even have to boil the water. Hot tap water, and you have a shitload of suprisingly good mashed potatoes in thirty seconds. For forty cents. Add salt, done.

If you don't think this is awesome, then you never had to live on Ramen for a week while you were in school.

Ooo! Ooo! Idea! I'm gonna add one of those "Beef Flavor" packets from a Ramen pack to the potato mix! Beefy potatoes, and you don't have to add salt! Or should I go Chicken? Seafood Flavor?

I so need to go to the store right now.

OK. So I'm pretty broke, what with having a low paying job and many many bills (They have little teeth. They bite my feet.), and I'm sick and fricking tired of fast food, which is too expensive and crappy. I like to cook, but I don't have the time to cook nice things, and I have to be frugal right now. So I've been experimenting with cheap food.

That's how I discovered the greatest creation in the history of food science: Hill Country Fare Complete Instant Mashed Potatoes.

Did you catch that? Complete and Instant. Both. Add water, and potatoes. Actually, it's much simpler than that. You don't even have to boil the water. Hot tap water, and you have a shitload of suprisingly good mashed potatoes in thirty seconds. For forty cents. Add salt, done.

If you don't think this is awesome, then you never had to live on Ramen for a week while you were in school.

Ooo! Ooo! Idea! I'm gonna add one of those "Beef Flavor" packets from a Ramen pack to the potato mix! Beefy potatoes, and you don't have to add salt! Or should I go Chicken? Seafood Flavor?

I so need to go to the store right now.

Z-Train, former member of my hip-hop group FunkaFeltaFish, is also Bruiser, the Baylor mascot. There's a contest sponsered by Capital One where you can vote for your favorite mascot, and Bruiser is about 600 votes behind his competitor. Even if you don't give a crap, click on the bear face and go vote for him (you can vote once a day, no registration or anything). Thanks.

Z-Train, former member of my hip-hop group FunkaFeltaFish, is also Bruiser, the Baylor mascot. There's a contest sponsered by Capital One where you can vote for your favorite mascot, and Bruiser is about 600 votes behind his competitor. Even if you don't give a crap, click on the bear face and go vote for him (you can vote once a day, no registration or anything). Thanks.

Does anyone remember Night Flight? Night Flight was cool.

Also, it apparently never jumped the shark.

Does anyone remember Night Flight? Night Flight was cool.

Also, it apparently never jumped the shark.

"Pies! Whatever, don't look at me, I don't like you."

"Pies! Whatever, don't look at me, I don't like you."

"Are you going to work? Are you dressed?"

"Are you going to work? Are you dressed?"

"Good morning, Lee...How's THAT for you blog?"

Oops.

"Good morning, Lee...How's THAT for you blog?"

Oops.

(grunting) "I can't...get this...on!"

(grunting) "I can't...get this...on!"

Had a big weekend with my S.O. in Austin, then couldn't get online (damn Intel). Had fun, stayed at the Austin Motel (freaky cool), and learned that the only thing worse than a holier-than-thou conservative is a holier-than-thou liberal.

More after the eBay.

Had a big weekend with my S.O. in Austin, then couldn't get online (damn Intel). Had fun, stayed at the Austin Motel (freaky cool), and learned that the only thing worse than a holier-than-thou conservative is a holier-than-thou liberal.

More after the eBay.

I love the tiny hopping bush birds! They're awesome!

No, I don't know what kind of bird they are. They're tiny, they hop, and they live in a bush. That's all I need.

I love the tiny hopping bush birds! They're awesome!

No, I don't know what kind of bird they are. They're tiny, they hop, and they live in a bush. That's all I need.

I forgot just how good Spider-Man 2 was. Awesome.

Atmosphere's You Can't Imagine How Much Fun We're Having is a great great new CD if you're all up on the whole Hip-Hop thing.

Nellie Mckay's new album's been delayed. Grr. As long as her record company doesn't pull an Extrordinary Machine (also awesome), I'll be OK.

Danger Doom's The Mouse and the Mask might not be as great as I had hoped it would be. I need to give it another listen.

Numbers, Lost, Joey, Arrested Development, Family Guy, etc. New TV Season! Whee!

My S.O. wants me to wait to watch Angel Seasons 3-5 with her. Guess I need to watch Star Trek TOS to kill the time in between, and finish my "watch every Star Trek at least once" quest.

Oh, by the way, Serenity was cool, but it was solid proof that Joss needs to get back to making TV shows. The man needs twelve hours to run a plotline. Two won't do.

That's it for now.

I forgot just how good Spider-Man 2 was. Awesome.

Atmosphere's You Can't Imagine How Much Fun We're Having is a great great new CD if you're all up on the whole Hip-Hop thing.

Nellie Mckay's new album's been delayed. Grr. As long as her record company doesn't pull an Extrordinary Machine (also awesome), I'll be OK.

Danger Doom's The Mouse and the Mask might not be as great as I had hoped it would be. I need to give it another listen.

Numbers, Lost, Joey, Arrested Development, Family Guy, etc. New TV Season! Whee!

My S.O. wants me to wait to watch Angel Seasons 3-5 with her. Guess I need to watch Star Trek TOS to kill the time in between, and finish my "watch every Star Trek at least once" quest.

Oh, by the way, Serenity was cool, but it was solid proof that Joss needs to get back to making TV shows. The man needs twelve hours to run a plotline. Two won't do.

That's it for now.

Xuqa is basically Facebook for getting laid. Hence, I will refer to it from now on as Fuckbook.

Xuqa is basically Facebook for getting laid. Hence, I will refer to it from now on as Fuckbook.

Letter to the Editor from the October 13th Lariat.

Living wage impractical

In light of the Lariat's editorial piece "University should keep staff above poverty line," as an economics major I feel compelled to provide an alternative perspective. Keep in mind that economics is regarded as a social science. Economists care for the welfare of the whole as much as anyone in Students for Social Justice.

To raise the "living wage" from $5.65 to $10.29 would be economically egregious to students and faculty.

Such a policy would require that money be reallocated from one area of Baylor's budget to another.

Money does not just come out of the sky.

The only internal funding sources I can think of would be to cut faculty salaries and institute a hiring freeze. If internal wealth is not redistributed, then it has to come from external sources. These external sources include tuition, fees, grants, endowments and debt.

Implementing a "living wage" is, in reality, just redistributing wealth. A redistribution in wealth means that your targeted party may win but others lose.

Is that what we want? One party wins, but another loses. Is that Christ-like?

Michael Khaleq
Finance and economics 2006

My reply:

Eat me Michael. Eat me big time. "Is that Christ-like?" You horrifying, horrifying moron.

Letter to the Editor from the October 13th Lariat.

Living wage impractical

In light of the Lariat's editorial piece "University should keep staff above poverty line," as an economics major I feel compelled to provide an alternative perspective. Keep in mind that economics is regarded as a social science. Economists care for the welfare of the whole as much as anyone in Students for Social Justice.

To raise the "living wage" from $5.65 to $10.29 would be economically egregious to students and faculty.

Such a policy would require that money be reallocated from one area of Baylor's budget to another.

Money does not just come out of the sky.

The only internal funding sources I can think of would be to cut faculty salaries and institute a hiring freeze. If internal wealth is not redistributed, then it has to come from external sources. These external sources include tuition, fees, grants, endowments and debt.

Implementing a "living wage" is, in reality, just redistributing wealth. A redistribution in wealth means that your targeted party may win but others lose.

Is that what we want? One party wins, but another loses. Is that Christ-like?

Michael Khaleq
Finance and economics 2006

My reply:

Eat me Michael. Eat me big time. "Is that Christ-like?" You horrifying, horrifying moron.

I like Advantage, use 'em all the time. But this ad was been on there webpage for over a year, and it drives me nuts. It's like when a hotel has "Free Wyreless" on their Marquee (or my all time fave, "Now Hiiring" at Taco Cabana for six years. Six. Years.). I hate it when corporations disseminate stupid.

Addendum: Thanks to Gre for pointing out that I used "there" instead of "their." I'm an idiotmoron.

I like Advantage, use 'em all the time. But this ad was been on there webpage for over a year, and it drives me nuts. It's like when a hotel has "Free Wyreless" on their Marquee (or my all time fave, "Now Hiiring" at Taco Cabana for six years. Six. Years.). I hate it when corporations disseminate stupid.

Addendum: Thanks to Gre for pointing out that I used "there" instead of "their." I'm an idiotmoron.

Filemonkey's a great program, but it gets a little happy with the help balloons.

Filemonkey's a great program, but it gets a little happy with the help balloons.

I got on BoingBoing. No biggie.

(actually pooping my pants with joy. don't tell.)

I got on BoingBoing. No biggie.

(actually pooping my pants with joy. don't tell.)

Just tore my favorite pair of pants on a nail at Common Grounds. Shit.

Addendum: Why is it that I always tear the most expensive thing I'm wearing? I don't have that many expensive things. Why does Fate taunt me so? Woe.

Just tore my favorite pair of pants on a nail at Common Grounds. Shit.

Addendum: Why is it that I always tear the most expensive thing I'm wearing? I don't have that many expensive things. Why does Fate taunt me so? Woe.

Debt free (barring mortgage and possible car payment) by December 31st.

At least one blog post a day (barring crashes or net outages).

Try to restart Bark and Skeet.

At least one new song a month.

Have anachronomicon.com running (correctly) by July 1st.

Learn at least a little Spanish.

Quit smoking (or at least cut down a whole whole lot).

Didn't expect that last one, huh?

Debt free (barring mortgage and possible car payment) by December 31st.

At least one blog post a day (barring crashes or net outages).

Try to restart Bark and Skeet.

At least one new song a month.

Have anachronomicon.com running (correctly) by July 1st.

Learn at least a little Spanish.

Quit smoking (or at least cut down a whole whole lot).

Didn't expect that last one, huh?

Well, I said I would post every day, but today was kind of boring. I did a lot of work.

There's really not a lot else to add.

This is kinda funny.

Also, this is pretty cool.

Well, I said I would post every day, but today was kind of boring. I did a lot of work.

There's really not a lot else to add.

This is kinda funny.

Also, this is pretty cool.

So, I'm a Common Grounds, doing some work, and I take a smoke break. Some people I know are outside playing a trivia game, and Antarctica comes up. So, I ask if anyone there has ever seen Antarctica? No. Do they know anyone that has ever seen Antarctica? No. Our theory is not that there is no Antarctica. There is a huge island called SexyPartyTopia, chock full of sexy parties, and none of us have been invited (or if we have, we're not telling, lest we not get invited again).

Anybody got a couple of spare invites?

Hmm?

So, I'm a Common Grounds, doing some work, and I take a smoke break. Some people I know are outside playing a trivia game, and Antarctica comes up. So, I ask if anyone there has ever seen Antarctica? No. Do they know anyone that has ever seen Antarctica? No. Our theory is not that there is no Antarctica. There is a huge island called SexyPartyTopia, chock full of sexy parties, and none of us have been invited (or if we have, we're not telling, lest we not get invited again).

Anybody got a couple of spare invites?

Hmm?

Okay, I'm officially venting. It's my birthday, and it has kind of sucked. I've had a crazy busy week, and my sleep schedule has been fucked, so I was hitting Friday morning a little out of sync. Plus my S.O. is out of the country, and that's a bit of a bummer (Sorry, it's totally O.K. sweetie, just wish you were here.). I did just enough work to realize how much work I had left to do, and I ran out of energy way too early. I took an hour nap, and I headed to Common Grounds to have some coffee and do some work, but The Learning Channel was filming a reality show about cheerleaders. Learning Channel. Cheerleaders. In between retakes of "real" lines being spoken by this diva cheerleader ("that just didn't sound sincere"), and the 20 minute panic attack about the boyfriend, whose shirt was not "college" enough (they made him change), and lights lights lights, I got a little done before I got tired again, right when I should have been gearing up to go out. Went home, took another hour nap, and was awakened by a friend insisting (rightly so) that I should go get at least a drink or two. First thing that pops into my head is to go to this little bar that I don't normally frequent, just for a change. But nooooooo. This is Hollywood, Cen-Tex chapter. Jessica and Ashley Simpson are there, so no go for a lowly fellow like myself, as I may be paparazzi.

What the hell. I mean seriously. I could give two craps about the Simpsons (well, aside from the funny/sad feeling I get about Ashley's SNL performance and the last 45 seconds of the Boots video). Just let me have a drink. And Learning Channel cheerleaders? Really?

Anyway, I give up. I'm gonna go to Scruffy's for surly bartenders and wrap the night up with a threesome with Jennifer Love Hewitt and Shannon Elizabeth (Sorry, it's totally O.K. sweetie, just wish you were here.).

Okay, I'm officially venting. It's my birthday, and it has kind of sucked. I've had a crazy busy week, and my sleep schedule has been fucked, so I was hitting Friday morning a little out of sync. Plus my S.O. is out of the country, and that's a bit of a bummer (Sorry, it's totally O.K. sweetie, just wish you were here.). I did just enough work to realize how much work I had left to do, and I ran out of energy way too early. I took an hour nap, and I headed to Common Grounds to have some coffee and do some work, but The Learning Channel was filming a reality show about cheerleaders. Learning Channel. Cheerleaders. In between retakes of "real" lines being spoken by this diva cheerleader ("that just didn't sound sincere"), and the 20 minute panic attack about the boyfriend, whose shirt was not "college" enough (they made him change), and lights lights lights, I got a little done before I got tired again, right when I should have been gearing up to go out. Went home, took another hour nap, and was awakened by a friend insisting (rightly so) that I should go get at least a drink or two. First thing that pops into my head is to go to this little bar that I don't normally frequent, just for a change. But nooooooo. This is Hollywood, Cen-Tex chapter. Jessica and Ashley Simpson are there, so no go for a lowly fellow like myself, as I may be paparazzi.

What the hell. I mean seriously. I could give two craps about the Simpsons (well, aside from the funny/sad feeling I get about Ashley's SNL performance and the last 45 seconds of the Boots video). Just let me have a drink. And Learning Channel cheerleaders? Really?

Anyway, I give up. I'm gonna go to Scruffy's for surly bartenders and wrap the night up with a threesome with Jennifer Love Hewitt and Shannon Elizabeth (Sorry, it's totally O.K. sweetie, just wish you were here.).

Nikonius and Erin, his S.O., got me a Shuffle for my birthday! Whee!

Nikonius and Erin, his S.O., got me a Shuffle for my birthday! Whee!

So my S.O. is in the Philippines...

Side Note: I haven't written a great deal about her on this blog, mainly because is pretty personal. Despite my Xangst ridden early blog posts, I kind of like keeping most of it to myself. Plus I need content for my other blog, The Xangsty adventures of a guy trying like hell to be a good boyfriend without being a whipped loser.

and I'm learning what bad telco service is all about. Every other time she calls (I still haven't successfully gotten through to her), the call lasts about 15 seconds before it goes out. The times the call is good, it's always normal, with "how are you" and "i miss you" and the usual boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. When it's the short calls, it's always her saying something like "I think the Manila mob has taken out a contract on..." click. Then I worry for a day or two until she calls again, saying that the rest of that sentence is "...building a home for orphans. They're going legit and giving their money to charity. Isn't that sweet?"

So I'm a worrier, I can't help it. I'm going to have a heart attack, I swear.

So my S.O. is in the Philippines...

Side Note: I haven't written a great deal about her on this blog, mainly because is pretty personal. Despite my Xangst ridden early blog posts, I kind of like keeping most of it to myself. Plus I need content for my other blog, The Xangsty adventures of a guy trying like hell to be a good boyfriend without being a whipped loser.

and I'm learning what bad telco service is all about. Every other time she calls (I still haven't successfully gotten through to her), the call lasts about 15 seconds before it goes out. The times the call is good, it's always normal, with "how are you" and "i miss you" and the usual boyfriend/girlfriend stuff. When it's the short calls, it's always her saying something like "I think the Manila mob has taken out a contract on..." click. Then I worry for a day or two until she calls again, saying that the rest of that sentence is "...building a home for orphans. They're going legit and giving their money to charity. Isn't that sweet?"

So I'm a worrier, I can't help it. I'm going to have a heart attack, I swear.

One of my agents has infiltrated SexyPartyTopia. At last, I have proof that it exists! My agent, risking life and limb, has obtained a woodcut from SexyPartyTopia, circa 1720. Click Here to view. Note: NOT for the prudish or faint of heart!

One of my agents has infiltrated SexyPartyTopia. At last, I have proof that it exists! My agent, risking life and limb, has obtained a woodcut from SexyPartyTopia, circa 1720. Click Here to view. Note: NOT for the prudish or faint of heart!

I sell lots of stuff on eBay, so I go to the Postal Service website a fair amount, mainly for foreign postage rates. Every country has a list of restricted items that you're not allowed to mail there. The Australian list had a couple of things that caught my eye:

Country Conditions for Mailing - Australia

Prohibitions (130)

Goods bearing the name "Anzac."

Anzac?

I sell lots of stuff on eBay, so I go to the Postal Service website a fair amount, mainly for foreign postage rates. Every country has a list of restricted items that you're not allowed to mail there. The Australian list had a couple of things that caught my eye:

Country Conditions for Mailing - Australia

Prohibitions (130)

Goods bearing the name "Anzac."

Anzac?

I have had a crappy couple of days. I'll go in depth tomorrow, but let it be known that Grande, Vongo, and car boots are on my shitlist.

I have had a crappy couple of days. I'll go in depth tomorrow, but let it be known that Grande, Vongo, and car boots are on my shitlist.

If you have to carry your soda like you're cradling a baby, you might need to drop down a size. I know, I know, the Super Mega Uberchug is only ten cents more than the Mega Uberchug, but how much is your dignity worth? Really. I'm just sayin'.

If you have to carry your soda like you're cradling a baby, you might need to drop down a size. I know, I know, the Super Mega Uberchug is only ten cents more than the Mega Uberchug, but how much is your dignity worth? Really. I'm just sayin'.

I invented a term this afternoon. Warm. A person is warm when they are both very hot and very cool. Like the faucets on your sink, if you got both, you get warm.

Yeah, you think I'm an idiot, but you're gonna be in some bar next week, and some girl (a friend of a friend) is gonna be at your table, and you'll think: that girl is warm. See if you don't.

I invented a term this afternoon. Warm. A person is warm when they are both very hot and very cool. Like the faucets on your sink, if you got both, you get warm.

Yeah, you think I'm an idiot, but you're gonna be in some bar next week, and some girl (a friend of a friend) is gonna be at your table, and you'll think: that girl is warm. See if you don't.

I was a bit groggy, and there was no good coffee or Red Bull to be found, so I bought a can of SoBe Adrenaline Rush.

Honestly, this stuff tastes like Satan went to the evil fruit fields of the Third Circle of Hell, plucked a pineapple, transformed it into a snarling horned Pineappleamus, then canned its urine.

Although, I have to admit, it did pep me up a wee bit.

You can learn more at the SoBe Adrenaline Rush website. Actually you can't. You can learn about a poker tounament, and sadly, DJ Z-Trip (Why Z-Trip, Why?!?).

I was a bit groggy, and there was no good coffee or Red Bull to be found, so I bought a can of SoBe Adrenaline Rush.

Honestly, this stuff tastes like Satan went to the evil fruit fields of the Third Circle of Hell, plucked a pineapple, transformed it into a snarling horned Pineappleamus, then canned its urine.

Although, I have to admit, it did pep me up a wee bit.

You can learn more at the SoBe Adrenaline Rush website. Actually you can't. You can learn about a poker tounament, and sadly, DJ Z-Trip (Why Z-Trip, Why?!?).

“Pherotones made my life complete. You know, like in that movie with that guy who’s a jerk at first but all the girls really want him and he ends up meeting that ugly girl with the glasses who really is hot when she takes her glasses off and proves to him that he’s really a nice guy after all. Kind of like that.”

“I wasn’t much of a ladies’ man before Pherotones. Now they call me ‘Mr. Lady.’”

I am hoping to God that this is a joke. Please God, don't let people be this amazingly fucking stupid. Oh, who am I kidding.

Addendum: Gotta be a joke. It says this on the bottom: Pherotones are not intended to be used as a supplement, dating aid, vitamin, pump, extender, enhancer, relationship builder or love maker.

2nd Addendum: Apparently I am a moron. Yet another stupid viral marketing campaign by McKinney-Silver (creators of that smarmy Travelocity Gnome), and I got suckered in just like they wanted. Dammit.

3rd Addendum: Stephen King's Cell came out today. Same day as the pherotones thing. Connection?

4th Addendum: I've wasted 10 minutes of my life on this.

“Pherotones made my life complete. You know, like in that movie with that guy who’s a jerk at first but all the girls really want him and he ends up meeting that ugly girl with the glasses who really is hot when she takes her glasses off and proves to him that he’s really a nice guy after all. Kind of like that.”

“I wasn’t much of a ladies’ man before Pherotones. Now they call me ‘Mr. Lady.’”

I am hoping to God that this is a joke. Please God, don't let people be this amazingly fucking stupid. Oh, who am I kidding.

Addendum: Gotta be a joke. It says this on the bottom: Pherotones are not intended to be used as a supplement, dating aid, vitamin, pump, extender, enhancer, relationship builder or love maker.

2nd Addendum: Apparently I am a moron. Yet another stupid viral marketing campaign by McKinney-Silver (creators of that smarmy Travelocity Gnome), and I got suckered in just like they wanted. Dammit.

3rd Addendum: Stephen King's Cell came out today. Same day as the pherotones thing. Connection?

4th Addendum: I've wasted 10 minutes of my life on this.

You ever been so busy that your brain kinda shuts off, and you kind of want to do nothing at all? Then you suddenly have more to do, so you're brain freaks out at the fact that you were so unmotivated when you have so much to complete...until you get even more to do, and you go to a second level of procrastination where you just want to break out the vodka right there at work, get rockin' fucked up, and then pee on the computer that keeps failing on you for no reason at all?

Yeah, I'm feelin' it.

You ever been so busy that your brain kinda shuts off, and you kind of want to do nothing at all? Then you suddenly have more to do, so you're brain freaks out at the fact that you were so unmotivated when you have so much to complete...until you get even more to do, and you go to a second level of procrastination where you just want to break out the vodka right there at work, get rockin' fucked up, and then pee on the computer that keeps failing on you for no reason at all?

Yeah, I'm feelin' it.

That (I am not making this up) was the Houston Chronicle's headline yesterday. The guy gets shot in the face, followed by six days of hospital recovery, including a "mild" heart attack.

"My family and I are deeply sorry for all that Vice President Cheney and his family have had to go through this past week," Whittington said. "We send our love and respect to them as they deal with situations that are much more serious than what we had this week."

Dude, you got SHOT IN THE FACE!

If Whittington had wanted to be tactful, and help a friend out, he could've said "let's put this behind us," or "it was a accident, everything's back to normal now," instead of being an example of just how sickeningly things skew toward the powerful.

This shit makes me want to vomit.

That (I am not making this up) was the Houston Chronicle's headline yesterday. The guy gets shot in the face, followed by six days of hospital recovery, including a "mild" heart attack.

"My family and I are deeply sorry for all that Vice President Cheney and his family have had to go through this past week," Whittington said. "We send our love and respect to them as they deal with situations that are much more serious than what we had this week."

Dude, you got SHOT IN THE FACE!

If Whittington had wanted to be tactful, and help a friend out, he could've said "let's put this behind us," or "it was a accident, everything's back to normal now," instead of being an example of just how sickeningly things skew toward the powerful.

This shit makes me want to vomit.

I just wanted the Kappa Alpha Thetas of the world to know that I really dislike five of you.

I just wanted my coffee. I get in line, like everyone else, and I'm next. I like being next. Of course, I didn't understand that when there's a Theta in line, and four other Thetas walk in the door, that they can just jam themselves in front of me as if they were there already, without so much as an 'excuse me.'

I was no longer next, I was next to next to next to next to next. I don't like being next to next to next to next to next. Especially when I never was in the first place!

(Just to clarify, such things don't usually warrant a posting, but the Thetas spent a good three minutes deciding on what insanely complicated coffee they each wanted to order, while they looked clean through me as if I didn't exist, before I gave up. I still have no coffee.)

Addendum: I now have coffee.

I just wanted the Kappa Alpha Thetas of the world to know that I really dislike five of you.

I just wanted my coffee. I get in line, like everyone else, and I'm next. I like being next. Of course, I didn't understand that when there's a Theta in line, and four other Thetas walk in the door, that they can just jam themselves in front of me as if they were there already, without so much as an 'excuse me.'

I was no longer next, I was next to next to next to next to next. I don't like being next to next to next to next to next. Especially when I never was in the first place!

(Just to clarify, such things don't usually warrant a posting, but the Thetas spent a good three minutes deciding on what insanely complicated coffee they each wanted to order, while they looked clean through me as if I didn't exist, before I gave up. I still have no coffee.)

Addendum: I now have coffee.

Due to issues with my ISP, I'm making some changes. They'll be no new posts for a little while (I'm guessing a week). But after that, expect an explosion of awesome neatness!

Due to issues with my ISP, I'm making some changes. They'll be no new posts for a little while (I'm guessing a week). But after that, expect an explosion of awesome neatness!

One, Two Three.

One, Two Three.

...but don't get too excited just yet. I just made the move to Dreamhost (my previous provider pooped on me), and the blog is back up. Everything else will be reactivated and reintegrated over time, but I'm not promising dates just yet. Work's going to be a bitch for the next couple of weeks, and I'll do things as quick as I can.

I'm very excited.

...but don't get too excited just yet. I just made the move to Dreamhost (my previous provider pooped on me), and the blog is back up. Everything else will be reactivated and reintegrated over time, but I'm not promising dates just yet. Work's going to be a bitch for the next couple of weeks, and I'll do things as quick as I can.

I'm very excited.

So I got some spam today:

"le2 Bang wifeys at www.betteratstart opsy no space before com I4w76 qtf"

What the hell am I supposed to do with that? "Bang wifeys" sounds like some kind of suburban sex spree, and "no space before com" gives it a "solve the puzzle to get porn" kind of quality. Did we enter the age of Postmodern Porn? Did I miss the memo? What did it say?

"Sex to be having: Postmillennial; extra fun with left breast in truck with monkeys. Dial 555-the square root of 31719424."

So I got some spam today:

"le2 Bang wifeys at www.betteratstart opsy no space before com I4w76 qtf"

What the hell am I supposed to do with that? "Bang wifeys" sounds like some kind of suburban sex spree, and "no space before com" gives it a "solve the puzzle to get porn" kind of quality. Did we enter the age of Postmodern Porn? Did I miss the memo? What did it say?

"Sex to be having: Postmillennial; extra fun with left breast in truck with monkeys. Dial 555-the square root of 31719424."

So I've been really sick, which pisses me off. It leaves my brain with a cloudy, unfocused feeling, and I can't get shit done. The only thing about being sick that I view as a positive is that it reminds me of how safe and comforting a baked potato can be.

Anyway, I was getting a little stir crazy in the house, so I headed to the coffee shop to do a little ultra-low-impact laptop work. There were two girls and two guys sitting on the couch across the room I was in, playing Battle of the Sexes. If you haven't seen it, it's a trivia game where guys ask girls questions about guy stuff, and vice versa. I was truly astounded at how many of the questions they couldn't answer (80%).

One of the guys asked the girls this question: "Name four of the five Marx Brothers."

She replied, "Harpo...Groucho...(long pause)...Karl?"

Made my damn day.

So I've been really sick, which pisses me off. It leaves my brain with a cloudy, unfocused feeling, and I can't get shit done. The only thing about being sick that I view as a positive is that it reminds me of how safe and comforting a baked potato can be.

Anyway, I was getting a little stir crazy in the house, so I headed to the coffee shop to do a little ultra-low-impact laptop work. There were two girls and two guys sitting on the couch across the room I was in, playing Battle of the Sexes. If you haven't seen it, it's a trivia game where guys ask girls questions about guy stuff, and vice versa. I was truly astounded at how many of the questions they couldn't answer (80%).

One of the guys asked the girls this question: "Name four of the five Marx Brothers."

She replied, "Harpo...Groucho...(long pause)...Karl?"

Made my damn day.

Group apologizes for taking three years worth of Taco Bell sauces

A group of 10 to 15 masked individuals entered Taco Bell, 3244 S. Western Ave., around 10:46 p.m. Tuesday to return a three-year stash of fire sauce packets, police say.

The group returned six 40-gallon trash bags filled with approximately, 25,000 sauce packets to the restaurant.

With the stash was a note stating that they had been accumulating the sauces over three years and kept them stored in the trunk of a vehicle, but felt guilty about keeping them and decided to return them to the restaurant.

via the Chicago Tribune.

Group apologizes for taking three years worth of Taco Bell sauces

A group of 10 to 15 masked individuals entered Taco Bell, 3244 S. Western Ave., around 10:46 p.m. Tuesday to return a three-year stash of fire sauce packets, police say.

The group returned six 40-gallon trash bags filled with approximately, 25,000 sauce packets to the restaurant.

With the stash was a note stating that they had been accumulating the sauces over three years and kept them stored in the trunk of a vehicle, but felt guilty about keeping them and decided to return them to the restaurant.

via the Chicago Tribune.

4:46pm - About to start sorting laundry. Listening to Inhale Einstein by the Acoustinauts (on vinyl). Laptop's in the kitchen, teetering precariously on the microwave, plugged into a Fostex Model 6301 (for listening to the DS9 episode I'll be watching while doing the dishes. Life is good.

4:49pm - "Inhale Einstein, Exhale Hitler" has to be one of the best choruses ever.

4:50pm - Diet Dr. Pepper is way too foamy.

5:00pm - Colors are in the wash. Would've been quicker, but my S.O.'s "special care" items always tend to double my prep time with little mesh zipper baggies and such. Starting Dishes and DS9 episode #214 ("Whispers").

5:17pm - Smoke Break.

5:23pm - Back from Smoke Break.

5:41pm - Dishes done and drying, on to laundry. Mainly folding all the stuff from the last batch that I never got around to. "Whispers" was awesome. Soda is less foamy.

5:46pm - Paused for a smoke slash hanger hunt. Laundry Ho!

6:13pm - yet another break (one S.O. blouse requires "tumble dry low"). Read a bit of John Hodgman's The Areas of My Expertise, laughed so hard I had to put it down for a while. The image (and caption) above is from his website. I would put quotes all over my quotes category, but I would essentially replicate the entire book. Go Buy It. Really. (Softcover / Hardcover)

6:23pm - Back to Laundryland, and DS9 episode #215 ("Paradise").

6:24pm - It it hanger or hangar? It's hanger, right?

6:42pm - Whites are in the wash, making pasta for dinner.

I like the way all the laundry is getting clean and neatly stacked. It makes me not want to use any of it. I think I understand nudists. It's not that they like being naked, they just don't want to do laundry.

Going to eat soon, probably going to wait on folding the whites. Seems a good place to stop. [End]

4:46pm - About to start sorting laundry. Listening to Inhale Einstein by the Acoustinauts (on vinyl). Laptop's in the kitchen, teetering precariously on the microwave, plugged into a Fostex Model 6301 (for listening to the DS9 episode I'll be watching while doing the dishes. Life is good.

4:49pm - "Inhale Einstein, Exhale Hitler" has to be one of the best choruses ever.

4:50pm - Diet Dr. Pepper is way too foamy.

5:00pm - Colors are in the wash. Would've been quicker, but my S.O.'s "special care" items always tend to double my prep time with little mesh zipper baggies and such. Starting Dishes and DS9 episode #214 ("Whispers").

5:17pm - Smoke Break.

5:23pm - Back from Smoke Break.

5:41pm - Dishes done and drying, on to laundry. Mainly folding all the stuff from the last batch that I never got around to. "Whispers" was awesome. Soda is less foamy.

5:46pm - Paused for a smoke slash hanger hunt. Laundry Ho!

6:13pm - yet another break (one S.O. blouse requires "tumble dry low"). Read a bit of John Hodgman's The Areas of My Expertise, laughed so hard I had to put it down for a while. The image (and caption) above is from his website. I would put quotes all over my quotes category, but I would essentially replicate the entire book. Go Buy It. Really. (Softcover / Hardcover)

6:23pm - Back to Laundryland, and DS9 episode #215 ("Paradise").

6:24pm - It it hanger or hangar? It's hanger, right?

6:42pm - Whites are in the wash, making pasta for dinner.

I like the way all the laundry is getting clean and neatly stacked. It makes me not want to use any of it. I think I understand nudists. It's not that they like being naked, they just don't want to do laundry.

Going to eat soon, probably going to wait on folding the whites. Seems a good place to stop. [End]

I have a case of sinusitis that just won't go away, and now my ears are plugged up and I can't hear shit. My S.O., though awesome she may be, is a very quiet speaker, and there is much frustration in both directions around the house. Grr.

Did you ever think that getting sick is like training for death? Think about it. When you're really sick, all you want to do is rest, slow down, have it be over with already (especially if it's the kind of sick with pain). I think that we're just being trained for the last big sick. I think it would be kind of hard to go gentle into that good night if you hadn't been previously warned of that desperate need for rest.

In the meantime, I'll just keep taking copious amounts of pills and hope for the best.

I have a case of sinusitis that just won't go away, and now my ears are plugged up and I can't hear shit. My S.O., though awesome she may be, is a very quiet speaker, and there is much frustration in both directions around the house. Grr.

Did you ever think that getting sick is like training for death? Think about it. When you're really sick, all you want to do is rest, slow down, have it be over with already (especially if it's the kind of sick with pain). I think that we're just being trained for the last big sick. I think it would be kind of hard to go gentle into that good night if you hadn't been previously warned of that desperate need for rest.

In the meantime, I'll just keep taking copious amounts of pills and hope for the best.

Most Overrated Person. Ever. Awesome.

Most Overrated Person. Ever. Awesome.

I was looking at new screenshots for the Family Guy game, and one of the comments simply read "ritzy." Ritzy needs a comeback. Perfect for those who have grown tired of the meta Firefly "shiny."

I was looking at new screenshots for the Family Guy game, and one of the comments simply read "ritzy." Ritzy needs a comeback. Perfect for those who have grown tired of the meta Firefly "shiny."

When I'm in a time crunch at work and I have to grab something from the snack machine, I get a very tiny thrill from putting the dollar in the machine before checking out the available selections. I'm committing to the moment.

It's a small thing, but I enjoy it.

When I'm in a time crunch at work and I have to grab something from the snack machine, I get a very tiny thrill from putting the dollar in the machine before checking out the available selections. I'm committing to the moment.

It's a small thing, but I enjoy it.

New banner, in the old blog gray. I'll change the colors of the rest of the blog soon for matching prettyness. I'm planning on making a bunch af different banners and having them cycle, so if anyone out there wants to submit one, feel free. Just save the banner image for sizing.

I know, about 6 people read this right now, but still.

New banner, in the old blog gray. I'll change the colors of the rest of the blog soon for matching prettyness. I'm planning on making a bunch af different banners and having them cycle, so if anyone out there wants to submit one, feel free. Just save the banner image for sizing.

I know, about 6 people read this right now, but still.

Ow.

Ow.

I was outside, looking up in my tree, and tugging on a dead branch to see if I could get it to pop off without breaking out the chainsaw, when a 8-10 year old kid rides by on his bike. He stops, about 5 feet behind me, and screams as loud as an 8-10 year old kid can. I'm talking an "oh god, I've been run over by a car" scream.

Naturally, I jump.

The kid starts to pedal off, and I say "was that fun?" He says "yeah," and pedals off down the street, where he does the same damn thing to one of my neighbors.

He'd better be glad I didn't break out the chainsaw.

I was outside, looking up in my tree, and tugging on a dead branch to see if I could get it to pop off without breaking out the chainsaw, when a 8-10 year old kid rides by on his bike. He stops, about 5 feet behind me, and screams as loud as an 8-10 year old kid can. I'm talking an "oh god, I've been run over by a car" scream.

Naturally, I jump.

The kid starts to pedal off, and I say "was that fun?" He says "yeah," and pedals off down the street, where he does the same damn thing to one of my neighbors.

He'd better be glad I didn't break out the chainsaw.

He's going to see my house for the first time. There's nothing like a parent visiting to make you realize just how shitty your house looks.

He's going to be here for three days. What the hell are we going to do for that long? He doesn't go to movies. Museums are not his thing. We can do dinners, and I'm gonna try to get him to go to Two Dollar Tuesday at Scruff's. I'm open to suggestions.

He's going to see my house for the first time. There's nothing like a parent visiting to make you realize just how shitty your house looks.

He's going to be here for three days. What the hell are we going to do for that long? He doesn't go to movies. Museums are not his thing. We can do dinners, and I'm gonna try to get him to go to Two Dollar Tuesday at Scruff's. I'm open to suggestions.

Sorry there hasn't been much to read, I'll catch up soon. I've just been busy as hell.

Sorry there hasn't been much to read, I'll catch up soon. I've just been busy as hell.

I started DJing Karaoke Night at Scruffy Murphy's again. Found a good unsecured wireless connection the reaches the bar. Whee!

Maybe I should stream it of liveblog it or something next week. Hmm...

I started DJing Karaoke Night at Scruffy Murphy's again. Found a good unsecured wireless connection the reaches the bar. Whee!

Maybe I should stream it of liveblog it or something next week. Hmm...

My S.O. and I recently took in this adorable fluffy white stray kitten. I just watched her eat a gecko whole. Ewwww. The crunching, man, the crunching...(shudder).

My S.O. and I recently took in this adorable fluffy white stray kitten. I just watched her eat a gecko whole. Ewwww. The crunching, man, the crunching...(shudder).

Wow. I have posted a lot of videos lately. Can anyone say short attention span?

Wow. I have posted a lot of videos lately. Can anyone say short attention span?

Billionaire Steve Wynn bought Picasso's Le Rêve five years ago for $48 million. Two weeks ago, he sold it to a friend for $139 million, the most ever paid for any work of art. Last weekend, he had a small party at his home. The painting was still there. Wynn, talking about Picasso, walking around, gesticulating, etc., accidently put his elbow through the canvas.

You gotta wonder in one of the guests cried "party foul!"

via The New Yorker.

Billionaire Steve Wynn bought Picasso's Le Rêve five years ago for $48 million. Two weeks ago, he sold it to a friend for $139 million, the most ever paid for any work of art. Last weekend, he had a small party at his home. The painting was still there. Wynn, talking about Picasso, walking around, gesticulating, etc., accidently put his elbow through the canvas.

You gotta wonder in one of the guests cried "party foul!"

via The New Yorker.

New posts by the truckload once I get everything put back together.

New posts by the truckload once I get everything put back together.

I just figured this out. The first day that I'm outside of a coffee shop having a cigarette with someone, and I don't politely wait for them to finish their smoke before going back inside; that's the first day of Winter.

Note: Reverse Groundhog sounds like an obscene sexual position.

I just figured this out. The first day that I'm outside of a coffee shop having a cigarette with someone, and I don't politely wait for them to finish their smoke before going back inside; that's the first day of Winter.

Note: Reverse Groundhog sounds like an obscene sexual position.

Naughty, naughty Christmas elf-girl outfits.

Naughty, naughty Christmas elf-girl outfits.

Hi.

I had to take a major role in moving the entire TV station I work at to a new building. This has been my life for nearly two months, and the next few weeks will be no cakewalk either, as I get everything put back together. Nonetheless, I made only one new year's resolution, and that's to either do a blog post, ebay listing, or some other type of work/contribution online every day. I enjoy it, and I think my neglect of it has had a negative effect on me.

Here's hoping.

Happy 2007. May it suck less than 2006.

Hi.

I had to take a major role in moving the entire TV station I work at to a new building. This has been my life for nearly two months, and the next few weeks will be no cakewalk either, as I get everything put back together. Nonetheless, I made only one new year's resolution, and that's to either do a blog post, ebay listing, or some other type of work/contribution online every day. I enjoy it, and I think my neglect of it has had a negative effect on me.

Here's hoping.

Happy 2007. May it suck less than 2006.

When I was about seven or eight, my favorite singer in the whole world was Freddy Fender. I had one of his albums on cassette (To put the time frame in perspective, this was so long ago it was before the clear plastic or black and clear plastic clamshell cases caught on. The tape was in a solid blue plastic one piece case.), and I wore the damn thing out.

Anyway, I was on a flight with my dad (and my sister, I think) to god knows where, and Freddy Freaking Fender was on the same plane. My dad took me up to meet him.

The details of the exchange are hazy to me, and all I really remember is a feeling of awe. To a little kid, it was like meeting the friendly genetic amalgam of Jesus and The Hulk.

Honestly, I haven't kept up with his career in recent years, but It really doesn't matter. All I need to know is that he was really nice to a little kid that liked him. Thanks, Freddy.

Freddy Fender - Wasted Days and Wasted Nights

When I was about seven or eight, my favorite singer in the whole world was Freddy Fender. I had one of his albums on cassette (To put the time frame in perspective, this was so long ago it was before the clear plastic or black and clear plastic clamshell cases caught on. The tape was in a solid blue plastic one piece case.), and I wore the damn thing out.

Anyway, I was on a flight with my dad (and my sister, I think) to god knows where, and Freddy Freaking Fender was on the same plane. My dad took me up to meet him.

The details of the exchange are hazy to me, and all I really remember is a feeling of awe. To a little kid, it was like meeting the friendly genetic amalgam of Jesus and The Hulk.

Honestly, I haven't kept up with his career in recent years, but It really doesn't matter. All I need to know is that he was really nice to a little kid that liked him. Thanks, Freddy.

Freddy Fender - Wasted Days and Wasted Nights

I don't want to get all solipsist up in this mofo, but do you ever get the feeling that there's a group of people meeting on a daily basis, figuring out ways to make your life suck that extra little bit? All I wanted to do for my birthday was go to First Saturday to get some computer parts, and the school I work (sort of) for decided to cut off all the receivers to our TV station for three hours during the absolute busiest part of the week, making it near impossible for me to go.

Then my power steering went out on my new (to me) car.

I'm on to you bastards.

Addendum: As my server posted this entry, the washing machine water backed up into the tub. You are one tenacious frakking secret society.

I don't want to get all solipsist up in this mofo, but do you ever get the feeling that there's a group of people meeting on a daily basis, figuring out ways to make your life suck that extra little bit? All I wanted to do for my birthday was go to First Saturday to get some computer parts, and the school I work (sort of) for decided to cut off all the receivers to our TV station for three hours during the absolute busiest part of the week, making it near impossible for me to go.

Then my power steering went out on my new (to me) car.

I'm on to you bastards.

Addendum: As my server posted this entry, the washing machine water backed up into the tub. You are one tenacious frakking secret society.

Say what you want, but I love, love the crap out of the American Idol audition shows. Love.

Say what you want, but I love, love the crap out of the American Idol audition shows. Love.

Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom.

The Wonderful World of Disney.

Johnny Carson.

Saturday Matinee on PBS (They'd show old serials and cartoons and a pair of movies in the same order as they used to be released. Sweet.)

60 cent comics.

Ambush Bug.

Chris Claremont's X-Men.

Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom.

The Wonderful World of Disney.

Johnny Carson.

Saturday Matinee on PBS (They'd show old serials and cartoons and a pair of movies in the same order as they used to be released. Sweet.)

60 cent comics.

Ambush Bug.

Chris Claremont's X-Men.

I heard that the window that Lee Harvey Oswald shot Kennedy through was removed from the Sixth Floor museum and is now up for sale on eBay. Then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died. And then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died. And then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died. And then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died. And then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died. And then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died. And then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died. And then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died.

I was going to add links to the Sixth Floor Museum and the Anna Nicole Smith Website, and I noticed that the JFK museum page loaded in about a half a second, while the Anna Nicole page will not load due to the barrage of visits.

Granted, the window is an inanimate object, and did not, in fact, die. It is, however, probably the most famous window in American history (not to mention a great loss to the Sixth Floor Museum, as it was a real centerpiece of the collection). Anna Nicole Smith did, in fact die, and I like to apply at least a modicum of gravitas to death, but seriously. This woman did nothing of note with her life past being someone people actively laughed at, or in her younger years, being naked and large breasted.

At this rate, we'll give Paris Hilton presidential honors when she gets whacked.

Addendum: two items of note just posted to eBay (using actual item titles):

ANNA NICOLE SMITH DEAD FEB 2007 FEB 2001 MINT HOT HOT
A ten dollar magazine, tops. Minimum Bid: $500.

Anna Nicole Smith Guitar
Judging from the sadly low-res image (see below), it looks to be a cheap guitar with poorly cut magazine images glued/laminated on it. Minimum Bid: $2500.

Second Addendum:

I dug through the garage for my old Playboys and dug one up, putting it up on eBay for shits and giggles. I made $50 in an hour. People are crazy.

Third Addendum:

Oswald's Marine Handbook just sold for a hundred grand, and the window's up to half a million dollars.

I heard that the window that Lee Harvey Oswald shot Kennedy through was removed from the Sixth Floor museum and is now up for sale on eBay. Then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died. And then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died. And then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died. And then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died. And then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died. And then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died. And then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died. And then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died.

I was going to add links to the Sixth Floor Museum and the Anna Nicole Smith Website, and I noticed that the JFK museum page loaded in about a half a second, while the Anna Nicole page will not load due to the barrage of visits.

Granted, the window is an inanimate object, and did not, in fact, die. It is, however, probably the most famous window in American history (not to mention a great loss to the Sixth Floor Museum, as it was a real centerpiece of the collection). Anna Nicole Smith did, in fact die, and I like to apply at least a modicum of gravitas to death, but seriously. This woman did nothing of note with her life past being someone people actively laughed at, or in her younger years, being naked and large breasted.

At this rate, we'll give Paris Hilton presidential honors when she gets whacked.

Addendum: two items of note just posted to eBay (using actual item titles):

ANNA NICOLE SMITH DEAD FEB 2007 FEB 2001 MINT HOT HOT
A ten dollar magazine, tops. Minimum Bid: $500.

Anna Nicole Smith Guitar
Judging from the sadly low-res image (see below), it looks to be a cheap guitar with poorly cut magazine images glued/laminated on it. Minimum Bid: $2500.

Second Addendum:

I dug through the garage for my old Playboys and dug one up, putting it up on eBay for shits and giggles. I made $50 in an hour. People are crazy.

Third Addendum:

Oswald's Marine Handbook just sold for a hundred grand, and the window's up to half a million dollars.

I thought it would be a neat idea to have little video "Bonus Features" to go with entries, with the same general theme of the post. Let me know if you know of a way to improve it.

By the way, the theme of this post is greased up Japanese guy wearing horns.

I thought it would be a neat idea to have little video "Bonus Features" to go with entries, with the same general theme of the post. Let me know if you know of a way to improve it.

By the way, the theme of this post is greased up Japanese guy wearing horns.

I installed this thing called Snap. If you put your mouse over a link that goes away from L-O-2.com, it shows a preview. If you don't like it, you can turn it off in the little window. So there.

I installed this thing called Snap. If you put your mouse over a link that goes away from L-O-2.com, it shows a preview. If you don't like it, you can turn it off in the little window. So there.

I'm feeling much better now. I'll be back on the blog bandwagon in no time.

I'm feeling much better now. I'll be back on the blog bandwagon in no time.

My S.O. got us tickets for the traveling company of the Lion King. I had seen stills of Julie Taymor's production, but you really have to see it in motion to do it justice. It was a hell of a lot of fun.

My S.O. got us tickets for the traveling company of the Lion King. I had seen stills of Julie Taymor's production, but you really have to see it in motion to do it justice. It was a hell of a lot of fun.

So I see one of those American Express ads where celebrities fill in a little form, answering questions about their lives and personal tastes. This one's got Martin Scorsese. Under favorite movie, he's written "They Are Legion."

I think, "hey, what a great title. That sounds awesome." So I go to imdb, nothing. Amazon, nothing, I even search torrent sites. Zip.

At this point, I think, "Wow, this is one obscure film. For this to be the favorite movie of such a great director, I need to find it. Where should I look next?"

So I think about it for a good two minutes before it occurs to me that "They Are Legion" is not a title. He meant "lots." As in a bunch.

I am a moron.

But tell me if I'm wrong; wouldn't that be a great name for a movie?

So I see one of those American Express ads where celebrities fill in a little form, answering questions about their lives and personal tastes. This one's got Martin Scorsese. Under favorite movie, he's written "They Are Legion."

I think, "hey, what a great title. That sounds awesome." So I go to imdb, nothing. Amazon, nothing, I even search torrent sites. Zip.

At this point, I think, "Wow, this is one obscure film. For this to be the favorite movie of such a great director, I need to find it. Where should I look next?"

So I think about it for a good two minutes before it occurs to me that "They Are Legion" is not a title. He meant "lots." As in a bunch.

I am a moron.

But tell me if I'm wrong; wouldn't that be a great name for a movie?

thank you mclennan county! you've been great!

Awesome. In case the crappy phonecam pic isn't clear enough, that's my S.O. and Tibra wailing on plastic strats.

thank you mclennan county! you've been great!

Awesome. In case the crappy phonecam pic isn't clear enough, that's my S.O. and Tibra wailing on plastic strats.

Thank God. In case you didn't know, I work in Public Television (support your local station). Pledge is, without exception, the suckiest time of year. That, combined with the flu, recently moving to a new building, multiple computer failures, the death of Anna Nicole, etc., has really taken it out of me. I still have lots to do, but less lots. lots less lots. Phew.

Thank God. In case you didn't know, I work in Public Television (support your local station). Pledge is, without exception, the suckiest time of year. That, combined with the flu, recently moving to a new building, multiple computer failures, the death of Anna Nicole, etc., has really taken it out of me. I still have lots to do, but less lots. lots less lots. Phew.

i'm expensive. dong.

Ignoring the gawd-awful USPS/Star Wars Promotion, I ran across these. Apparently, you can pay current first class rates with a guarantee that these will remain valid forever. Of course, with the art of the letter (sadly) dying in favor of texting "OMG I'm eatin the BEST cheezebrgr," and bills getting e-payed, it makes sense for them to cash in now. Pretty stamp though.

i'm expensive. dong.

Ignoring the gawd-awful USPS/Star Wars Promotion, I ran across these. Apparently, you can pay current first class rates with a guarantee that these will remain valid forever. Of course, with the art of the letter (sadly) dying in favor of texting "OMG I'm eatin the BEST cheezebrgr," and bills getting e-payed, it makes sense for them to cash in now. Pretty stamp though.

no! no no no! don't make me shoot you c.w.!

It's done. No more.

I have this rule. If I'm at a cocktail party, and I ask a guy what he does for a living, and he says "I'm a spammer," that I'm allowed to kill him with a shrimp fork for the benefit of society. I just added the guy that killed VM to that list. So look out, VM cancelling guy. Shrimp fork.

no! no no no! don't make me shoot you c.w.!

It's done. No more.

I have this rule. If I'm at a cocktail party, and I ask a guy what he does for a living, and he says "I'm a spammer," that I'm allowed to kill him with a shrimp fork for the benefit of society. I just added the guy that killed VM to that list. So look out, VM cancelling guy. Shrimp fork.

boom chicka wakka wakka boom.

So I'm at Starbucks (My regular haunt, Common Grounds, is "remodeling"), and I've been coming every day for about two weeks, so the staff has gotten to that "casual barista conversation" point.

Anyway, I'm working on my laptop, with a recent episode of the Daily Show going in the corner, when I laugh out loud at one of the jokes (Andy Samberg explainging how he got inspired to do the "Dick in a Box" video: "Well, I had this penis, and Timberlake came by. He's good at singing..."). One of the baristas asks me if I'm laughing an an email, a show, whatever, and I explain that my job involves some repetitive and tedious tasks that I've gotten so good at cranking out, that I can watch TV at the same time, killing two birds with one stone.

I get up to head outside at this point, further explaining (before I'm out the door) that I wait until I'm home to watch foreign films (not saying "because I can't focus on the subtitles.").

They thought I said "porn films."

Hilarity ensued.

I'm glad I didn't add "Yeah, my girlfriend and I will occasionaly cuddle up on the couch to watch that kind of thing," which I very nearly did.

boom chicka wakka wakka boom.

So I'm at Starbucks (My regular haunt, Common Grounds, is "remodeling"), and I've been coming every day for about two weeks, so the staff has gotten to that "casual barista conversation" point.

Anyway, I'm working on my laptop, with a recent episode of the Daily Show going in the corner, when I laugh out loud at one of the jokes (Andy Samberg explainging how he got inspired to do the "Dick in a Box" video: "Well, I had this penis, and Timberlake came by. He's good at singing..."). One of the baristas asks me if I'm laughing an an email, a show, whatever, and I explain that my job involves some repetitive and tedious tasks that I've gotten so good at cranking out, that I can watch TV at the same time, killing two birds with one stone.

I get up to head outside at this point, further explaining (before I'm out the door) that I wait until I'm home to watch foreign films (not saying "because I can't focus on the subtitles.").

They thought I said "porn films."

Hilarity ensued.

I'm glad I didn't add "Yeah, my girlfriend and I will occasionaly cuddle up on the couch to watch that kind of thing," which I very nearly did.

Seen:

A girl took up four spaces. Four. In a Ford Focus.

(Mental note: go here.)

Heard:

Girl on cell: "Yeah, my teeth are crooked, but my tits are perfect, so it all works out ok."

(No comment. My girlfriend might hit me.)

Seen (on the way home):

A custom truck with old English letters on the back window that said (actual spelling) "Abdnormal."

(Clearly.)

Seen:

A girl took up four spaces. Four. In a Ford Focus.

(Mental note: go here.)

Heard:

Girl on cell: "Yeah, my teeth are crooked, but my tits are perfect, so it all works out ok."

(No comment. My girlfriend might hit me.)

Seen (on the way home):

A custom truck with old English letters on the back window that said (actual spelling) "Abdnormal."

(Clearly.)

A decade's worth of short films, Pre-You-Tube vid clips, documentaries, specials, more. Gone. Shit.

Addendum: After trying sensible methods of recovery, I beat the crap out of the drive my dropping it a few times. I got about 3/4 of the stuff off after that. Don't tell me violence isn't the answer.

A decade's worth of short films, Pre-You-Tube vid clips, documentaries, specials, more. Gone. Shit.

Addendum: After trying sensible methods of recovery, I beat the crap out of the drive my dropping it a few times. I got about 3/4 of the stuff off after that. Don't tell me violence isn't the answer.

Joey Bishop, the last surviving member of The Rat Pack, has died.

Feel free to go back to watching Survivor, or listening to Soulja Boy, or whatever.

Joey Bishop, the last surviving member of The Rat Pack, has died.

Feel free to go back to watching Survivor, or listening to Soulja Boy, or whatever.

Yes, I know, but there's not a goddamn thing I can do about it, so I'm not going to talk about it.

Yes, I know, but there's not a goddamn thing I can do about it, so I'm not going to talk about it.

So, I vomited all over myself when I saw this:

Bling H20 is a $56 dollar Swarovski studded bottle of water. Paris Hilton was seen using it for her doggie's water dish. The website has a bottle resting on a bare ass. Mmm, classy.

I figured that was it. I honestly thought to myself, Wow. This is as ludicrous as you can get, hands down.

Then I saw this, and vomiting resumed:

This is Fillico, the luxe water for those who think Bling H20 isn't classy enough. $100 per bottle, double if you want the fancy cap. Special "Gift" versions priced upon request.

Fuck.

So, I vomited all over myself when I saw this:

Bling H20 is a $56 dollar Swarovski studded bottle of water. Paris Hilton was seen using it for her doggie's water dish. The website has a bottle resting on a bare ass. Mmm, classy.

I figured that was it. I honestly thought to myself, Wow. This is as ludicrous as you can get, hands down.

Then I saw this, and vomiting resumed:

This is Fillico, the luxe water for those who think Bling H20 isn't classy enough. $100 per bottle, double if you want the fancy cap. Special "Gift" versions priced upon request.

Fuck.