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June 15, 2004

Seizures!

Mad Seizure Cats!

Mad Seizure Cats.jpg

The fun (but not as good) Killer Japanese Seizure Robots!

Killer Japanese Seizure Robots.jpg

Cliff showed me these a long time ago, just remembered them.

June 19, 2004

Afghan Rugs After 9/11

Afghan War Rugs.jpg

War meets art amongst the rugmakers of Afghanistan. Article at Maisonneuve.

June 30, 2004

Homemade PVC Flamethrower

Holy Crap.

Read the How-To.

July 1, 2004

Japanese Pizza! Yummy!

It says "Ideal Taste of Sea Goodness and Mayonnaise!" Really.

From Chachich.com.

Top Ten College Pranks

Fun stuff from the Museum of Hoaxes.

After you read #10, go here, and feel the fury.

July 16, 2004

X-Type Black iPod Giveaway.


Go here to sign up for the elusive black iPod, so you can be an even snootier Mac Addict. There's only 75 in the world, and only 1 in this giveaway. Go Nuts.

July 20, 2004

That's One Rich Bushman.

I'm gonna buy stock in Pfizer. Read the story at The BBC.

July 25, 2004

Get to Biddin'!

Actual eBay item description. Got a giggle out of it.

GARDEN STATE press kit ZACH BRAFF, NATALIE PORTMAN

You are bidding on the digital press kit for GARDEN STATE, the award-winning directorial debut from (and starring) Zach Braff from television's SCRUBS. The film also stars Natalie Portman, and you know what that means, don't you? It means you need this press kit. You need it more than air.

The CD-ROM comes with all of the typical press kit-type stuff, like scads of photos, posters, and the film's trailer. Once the other eBay kids find out Queen Amidala has a new film coming out, you know the price on this puppy is going to skyrocket. So get bidding, fools!

PayPal only.

Bid on more of my crud and save on shipping.

Good luck and happy bidding.

175 Definitions of Jesus, and Honkys!

175 Definitions of Jesus from UrbanDictionary.com. Interesting as an example of what people will say about culturally important topics when they don't have to worry about the consequences. Not for the easily offended.

Also, click this picture for clever satire.

August 5, 2004

New Batmobile!

Click the pic to see video of it in action. Not sure how to feel about it yet.

August 16, 2004

Don't Beat your Child with a Stick. Let the Tank Do It.

From The Hall of Technical Documentation Weirdness. Great Stuff.

August 17, 2004

Self Promotion.

Made a link image for anyone that wants to link to my comic, The Adventures of Bark and Skeet. Not that anyone will, but please request any other form factors you might want.

August 20, 2004

You Say Potato, I Say Bitch...

A Spanish-language version of Windows XP, destined for Latin American markets, asked users to select their gender between "not specified," "male" or "bitch," because of an unfortunate error in translation.

From How eight pixels cost Microsoft millions.

August 21, 2004

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

September 3, 2004

Big Bubbly Badass.

Ok, who's going to China with me to see this thing?

Video of the 2008 Beijing National Swimming Center, China

Hey LO2! Do You Know How I Can Throw Away 15 Minutes Of My Life?

Yes.

64=65?

Click if you dare have your mind warped by insanity!!!! ...not really.

Save Bernd!

Album Covers Gone Wrong.

Many More Here.

Textbooks Gone Wrong.

Many More Here.

September 7, 2004

Can't sleep. Random links and junk.

My Dark Horse Is Horny. The dumbest short film ever made. Ever.

Japanese Maze Game. Possibly the scariest flash game ever made.

Helicopter. The greatest flash game ever made.

Astonishingly large hamburger from Denny's Beer Barrel Pub.

September 12, 2004

Arktinen Krokotiili Projekti.

Take a bear like this:

Add code like this:

var shit;
shit = document.getElementById("shit");

What do you get? This.

September 13, 2004

Fun With eBay.

Feeling a little silly, put up an unusual item on eBay. The picture does not adequately describe it.

September 22, 2004

This Guy is the Definition of Spare Time.

click to enlarge (you know you want to)

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate good looking women, but not so much that I would devote what has to be a huge amount of time compiling a 50 gigabyte database of a quarter million images online. Yikes.

September 25, 2004

A&F Target Market = Morons.

click to see more

Look at our butts! And our dog! And our lack of sports bras! We even drop the S-bomb TWICE! Wow!

Sorry, but this is one of the dumbest things I have ever seen on the internet. And I've seen My Dark Horse is Horny and thirty-seven chewies.

On the bright side, it turned me onto this cool new album.

click to see more

September 28, 2004

I Bet You Don't Need A Pig To Find This One.

click to see more

The oldest thing ever is a 2,200 year old underground mushroom. Really. Story at BBC News.

October 1, 2004

God. Life. Progressive Culture.

click to see more

My friend Ariele has an article on the companion website to the somewhat secular-friendly Christian magazine Relevant. Thought I'd give her some press.

October 3, 2004

Warning: Offensive (ergo funny)

Maria.jpg
MARIA F., Zebulon, GA
When I started dating, boys always expected me to have intercourse with them. I knew I couldn't resist the peer pressure alone, so now I double-date with my pal Shelly. Now when boys pressure us for sex, we say "no" together – then satisfy them by putting on a hot girl-girl show in the back seat.

mark.jpg
MARK G., Atomic City, ID
When I started my junior year of high school, I was already the captain of the football team and the baseball team, I was a straight-A honors student, and girls were offering themselves to me. I just couldn't say no to easy sex and free booze, but I knew I was risking my future. So I prayed on it, drove to Boise, and got this butt-ugly haircut. I haven't been laid since, praise Jesus!

Rebecca.jpg
REBECCA K., Great Falls, MT
I know what you're thinking: "Anal sex?! Gross! No way!" But it's so cool! My boyfriends get totally turned on by watching me lube up, and I don't worry anymore about getting pregnant. And anal is definitely the fast track to the "in" crowd: Ever since I started taking it anal, I've been way popular at school!

Many more touching testimonials at Techincal Virgin.

October 4, 2004

Darned Angry Christian Bowlers.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
I thought "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" was the worst movie I've ever seen. "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" sinks lower. Glorification of the self-indulgence of any kind is frivolous at best and when this self-indulgence is recreational drug use, it's simply evil. Moral relativism is the underlying justification that recreational druggies use, and the self-centered morass that this movie portrays disgusts me. Moral relativism is Satan's arguement against the moral standard that the Lord gives us, and the resulting anarchy, even when appearing as harmless fun or benign, draws us further away from God's Truth. Some would tell me not to push morality at them, but I wish that popular culture would stop pushing amoratliy and immorality at me.
Claude Kutaka

Fight Club
The best movie I can't recommend... Wow. David Fincher once more brings to the fore a cinematic cataclysm. This may be the best movie of 1999 that I can't recommend. Why not? Not because I think that the sex is particularly raunchy. Nor because of the attitude and worldview espoused. It's the violence. Not that the violence is gratuitous, mindless, or any of the other buzz-words so often associated with such films. Rather, the violence is realistic (I would suppose...) and is sometimes difficult to stomach. Bare-fisted pugilism is by necessity a brutal activity and so this film in documenting such fisticuffs becomes via transposition, brutal. My caution would be: Do not see this movie. That being said, Fight Club was probably the best movie I've seen this year.
Seth T. Hahne

And my favorite...

The Big Lebowski
I wish I had read your review before I went to see this movie. I love to bowl with my youth group and consider bowling to be a healthy pasttime. I was so disapointed that this movie would take a clean Christian sport like bowling and pervert with the drugs and sex and profanity. I would urge other Christian bowlers to stay away from "The Big Lebowski".
Heather

Now, to be fair, there were plenty of reasonable and well thought out reviews. These are the wierd ones.

The review site's home page, or you can go right to the Extremely Offensive page (the title is written in such delicate text. Kinda comforting, really.). If you use FireFox, I suggest the home page, as there's a neat glitch in the Current Better Choices window when you highlight the titles within it (See how wide you can make your browser window!).

October 8, 2004

Military Notification And Response.

Page 26:

NORAD: We have a report the dogs got out. Can you confirm?
ASPCA: Repeat, please.
NORAD: CENTCOM is telling us the dogs got out. Can you confirm?
ASPCA: Dogs?
NORAD: Yes.
ASPCA: Let me check. [8 second silence] Yes, they got out.
NORAD: Who let the dogs out?
ASPCA: Who?
NORAD: Who.

The Baha Men Commission Report

October 9, 2004

Very Cool Thingie-ma-bobber-whatsis.

click to see more

Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

5 September 1999, Jerusalem:

In most parts of the world, the switch away from Daylight Saving Time proceeds smoothly. But the time change raised havoc with Palestinian terrorists this year.

Israel insisted on a premature switch from Daylight Savings Time to Standard Time to accommodate a week of pre-sunrise prayers. Palestinians refused to live on "Zionist Time." Two weeks of scheduling havoc ensued. Nobody knew the "correct" time.

At precisely 5:30pm on Sunday, two coordinated car bombs exploded in different cities, killing three terrorists who were transporting the bombs. It was initially believed that the devices had been detonated prematurely by klutzy amateurs. A closer look revealed the truth behind the explosions.

The bombs had been prepared in a Palestine-controlled area, and set to detonate on Daylight Saving Time. But the confused drivers had already switched to Standard Time. When they picked up the bombs, they neglected to ask whose watch was used to set the timing mechanism. As a result, the cars were still en-route when the explosives detonated, delivering the terrorists to their untimely demises.

A Darwin Award.

October 10, 2004

Gas Station vs Hurricane Charley.

click to see more

Interesting stuff if you've never really seen a hurricane. At EnergyRadio.

Ha! Hahahaha! Haaaaaa! Haaaa!

Hahhahhaaaahahahaha!!!

October 20, 2004

Go Nuts.

L-O-2.com - churchsign.jpg

Make your own here.

October 31, 2004

Missed Connections.

I grabbed your boobs on Sunset.

November 1, 2004

A Special Message From Dubya.

click for a special message.

Note: Won't work with Firefox.

November 7, 2004

Dogs in Elk.

oh dear god, the carnage...

Kudos to Carolyn for sending me this awesome link. I took too long for me to get to it, so the Halloween significance is lost, but it doesn't matter. Ass rockin' funny.

November 11, 2004

You're Yanking My Chain.

click here to buy the stupidest fucking thing ever.

Ah, the grand comfort chair designed by le Corbusier in 1929. A knockoff version, available for $525. Not so bad, really.

Until you find out the measurements.

4.75" x 4.9" x 4.6".

THAT'S INCHES PEOPLE! WHAT THE HELL???!?!?

November 16, 2004

Oh My God.

Warning: Involves fake poop. Possibly NSFW.

Chocolate Chip Cookie!

Poor Child. Poor Poor Child.

This kid is screwed. Like Star Wars Kid screwed. Poor Bastard.

Poor Poor Poor Poor Poor Child.

Adorable, yet sad.

November 18, 2004

This Makes Me Unusually Happy.

click here to see the sad yet entertaining bunny


Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me by TISM and Bernard Derriman.

If you feel you need the lyrics, find them here.

November 23, 2004

"Spreading the Gospel in the werewolf and furry communities."

click to feel the furry love

This poor bastard's got his work cut out for him. Note to the non geeky. You might have trouble "reaching out" to con kiddies when you write stuff like "I hate fantasy roleplaying games. I will state here and I will state elsewhere that I never want to be solicited with a request to join an online roleplaying game. Ever. Nor do I want to advertise for such games on my website or endorse paraphernalia associated with such games. Don't even send me your character's stats. It might insult me."

Keri's gonna love this.

November 28, 2004

Must be for Starke's "Inspiration Parties."

drink me

This is real. Gotta love Target.

http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/602-0525973-8003047?asin=0823916839

Props to Nikonius for the link.

The Cassette Steals The Show.

Breakdancing Transformers.

All Your Frog Are Belong To Us.

somebody set up us the frog.

December 1, 2004

Just When I Thought I Was Getting Really Creative...

On March 2, 2003 at 4:12 pm, I disappeared.

Probably old news, but new to me. I'm probably going to have to avoid looking at this site for fear of losing a whole day to it.

December 4, 2004

You Know, For Kids!

National Reconnaissance Office Jr.
FBI Kids
NSA/CSS Kids and Youth Page
CIA's Homepage for Kids

February 14, 2005

A Special Post For Nikonius.

My friend often refers to the need to see something new. Here you go.

February 26, 2005

Sweeeeeeet.

Blog-L-O-2.com-normal_018_famicom_mini.jpg

I might have to buy my first Mac product...

found at Shuffle Art Archives.

February 27, 2005

I Have Been Humbled.

I thought I had a grasp on successful eBay marketing. I was wrong.

March 1, 2005

Speaking Of Summer Movies...

Holy Crap.