i am a very important window.
I heard that the window that Lee Harvey Oswald shot Kennedy through was removed from the Sixth Floor museum and is now up for sale on eBay. Then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died. And then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died. And then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died. And then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died. And then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died. And then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died. And then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died. And then I heard that Anna Nicole Smith died.
I was going to add links to the Sixth Floor Museum and the Anna Nicole Smith Website, and I noticed that the JFK museum page loaded in about a half a second, while the Anna Nicole page will not load due to the barrage of visits.
Granted, the window is an inanimate object, and did not, in fact, die. It is, however, probably the most famous window in American history (not to mention a great loss to the Sixth Floor Museum, as it was a real centerpiece of the collection). Anna Nicole Smith did, in fact die, and I like to apply at least a modicum of gravitas to death, but seriously. This woman did nothing of note with her life past being someone people actively laughed at, or in her younger years, being naked and large breasted.
At this rate, we'll give Paris Hilton presidential honors when she gets whacked.
Addendum: two items of note just posted to eBay (using actual item titles):
ANNA NICOLE SMITH DEAD FEB 2007 FEB 2001 MINT HOT HOT
A ten dollar magazine, tops. Minimum Bid: $500.
Anna Nicole Smith Guitar
Judging from the sadly low-res image (see below), it looks to be a cheap guitar with poorly cut magazine images glued/laminated on it. Minimum Bid: $2500.

Second Addendum:
i am a quick $50
I dug through the garage for my old Playboys and dug one up, putting it up on eBay for shits and giggles. I made $50 in an hour. People are crazy.
Third Addendum:
i am a quick $100,000.
Oswald's Marine Handbook just sold for a hundred grand, and the window's up to half a million dollars.