LO2

Ow.

Ow.

I was outside, looking up in my tree, and tugging on a dead branch to see if I could get it to pop off without breaking out the chainsaw, when a 8-10 year old kid rides by on his bike. He stops, about 5 feet behind me, and screams as loud as an 8-10 year old kid can. I'm talking an "oh god, I've been run over by a car" scream.

Naturally, I jump.

The kid starts to pedal off, and I say "was that fun?" He says "yeah," and pedals off down the street, where he does the same damn thing to one of my neighbors.

He'd better be glad I didn't break out the chainsaw.

I was outside, looking up in my tree, and tugging on a dead branch to see if I could get it to pop off without breaking out the chainsaw, when a 8-10 year old kid rides by on his bike. He stops, about 5 feet behind me, and screams as loud as an 8-10 year old kid can. I'm talking an "oh god, I've been run over by a car" scream.

Naturally, I jump.

The kid starts to pedal off, and I say "was that fun?" He says "yeah," and pedals off down the street, where he does the same damn thing to one of my neighbors.

He'd better be glad I didn't break out the chainsaw.

A few years ago, I coined the term spoems, for the mish mash of words spammers put on the back end of emails to fool spam blockers. I haven't posted one in a while, but this one was too awesome to pass up, even though it more essay than poem.

Apparently, someone's using a program where it mines the hell out of random web pages for word combos. Mine comes from Cafe Mama, the owner of a coffee house that caters to parents and their kids (actually, a cool idea).

Here it is (Note: Spoem titles are the subject line of the email):

Tastefully White-Collar

In short, I'm the perfect blogger. It was two weeks ago, and we'd just finished a stressful but fun event at cafe au play's On the Road event at Urban Grind. This was going to be a "where did the horses come from? and I want one so so badly in my neighborhood! Those questioners, as well as those friends and colleagues who hear my shutter click-click-clicking away, are shocked when they discover that my camera is firmly lodged in old media. I visited the AOL office once or twice. And in the meantime, let's remind Portland that we really, really love our sign, and aren't entirely happy when the sign isn't kept in the loop. Really, we've been on the extreme end of the car abuser spectrum. Right there, next to me, was an interesting-looking headline on the Portland Tribune. cook a dish from an ill-used cookbook . But I was working nearby and a colleague got her photos developed there - I thought, why not try? I think I don't sound entirely dumb. I've been accumulating a delightful collection of child's helmets at garage sales, but I had to fit them to heads and find the missing set of straps. I bought it used at Blue Moon Camera, a photo shop in St. we both woke up from our prodigious naps. The rings were put in about a century ago when carriages and buggies and other horse-drawn conveyances clogged the streets of Portland. I blamed it on the terror of almost-birth and was happy when he followed up with the neighborhood association. Not so much the day previous, when I'd had to drag him, kicking and shrieking and throwing bark dust in my face, from the play structure at Laurelhurst Park to the bus stop a block away. By the time I boarded the airplane and finished the Wall Street Journal I was a little frantic. go somewhere I've never gone. She's due in October, and the mamas and I are planning a knitting event for her." And that felt truly authentic. But I was working nearby and a colleague got her photos developed there - I thought, why not try? the route I'd travelled hundreds upon hundreds of times. My organizing principal: in a world of matching mother-daughter capri pants, I've learned to celebrate the beauty of the boy.

But I feel inauthentic.

But I know it's not going to be easy. The real reason I love it so much is that I'm reconnecting with my city. We spoke briefly but I failed to make a date with him. I even lauded his communication ability. I love getting up and getting on my bike to go to a meeting, riding past people watering their lawns and painting their houses and running and, of course, driving their cars. " I want to call it "boy" and feature some of the exuberant silly brilliant tortured emotions I see on the faces of my boys, and the ones I know. I'll be asking, hey, what's up with our sign?

A few years ago, I coined the term spoems, for the mish mash of words spammers put on the back end of emails to fool spam blockers. I haven't posted one in a while, but this one was too awesome to pass up, even though it more essay than poem.

Apparently, someone's using a program where it mines the hell out of random web pages for word combos. Mine comes from Cafe Mama, the owner of a coffee house that caters to parents and their kids (actually, a cool idea).

Here it is (Note: Spoem titles are the subject line of the email):

Tastefully White-Collar

In short, I'm the perfect blogger. It was two weeks ago, and we'd just finished a stressful but fun event at cafe au play's On the Road event at Urban Grind. This was going to be a "where did the horses come from? and I want one so so badly in my neighborhood! Those questioners, as well as those friends and colleagues who hear my shutter click-click-clicking away, are shocked when they discover that my camera is firmly lodged in old media. I visited the AOL office once or twice. And in the meantime, let's remind Portland that we really, really love our sign, and aren't entirely happy when the sign isn't kept in the loop. Really, we've been on the extreme end of the car abuser spectrum. Right there, next to me, was an interesting-looking headline on the Portland Tribune. cook a dish from an ill-used cookbook . But I was working nearby and a colleague got her photos developed there - I thought, why not try? I think I don't sound entirely dumb. I've been accumulating a delightful collection of child's helmets at garage sales, but I had to fit them to heads and find the missing set of straps. I bought it used at Blue Moon Camera, a photo shop in St. we both woke up from our prodigious naps. The rings were put in about a century ago when carriages and buggies and other horse-drawn conveyances clogged the streets of Portland. I blamed it on the terror of almost-birth and was happy when he followed up with the neighborhood association. Not so much the day previous, when I'd had to drag him, kicking and shrieking and throwing bark dust in my face, from the play structure at Laurelhurst Park to the bus stop a block away. By the time I boarded the airplane and finished the Wall Street Journal I was a little frantic. go somewhere I've never gone. She's due in October, and the mamas and I are planning a knitting event for her." And that felt truly authentic. But I was working nearby and a colleague got her photos developed there - I thought, why not try? the route I'd travelled hundreds upon hundreds of times. My organizing principal: in a world of matching mother-daughter capri pants, I've learned to celebrate the beauty of the boy.

But I feel inauthentic.

But I know it's not going to be easy. The real reason I love it so much is that I'm reconnecting with my city. We spoke briefly but I failed to make a date with him. I even lauded his communication ability. I love getting up and getting on my bike to go to a meeting, riding past people watering their lawns and painting their houses and running and, of course, driving their cars. " I want to call it "boy" and feature some of the exuberant silly brilliant tortured emotions I see on the faces of my boys, and the ones I know. I'll be asking, hey, what's up with our sign?

Burger King is releasing 3 four dollar games for the 360 (and original Xbox) before Christmas. From Kotaku:

"Sneak King" (Adventure) -- Only the King can turn an everyday act into an art form and now players can step into the King's royal shoes and use cunning stealth to sneak up behind unsuspecting people and bestow them with a delicious meal. The goal of Sneak King is to surprise hungry citizens with BURGER KING® sandwiches and other menu items throughout the day before they pass out from hunger. Whether in a logging yard, construction site, suburban neighborhood or downtown urban scene -- each rich with detail and hidden pathways -- players can hide out and earn points based on how elaborate the delivery is executed.

See the other two games, Pocket Bike Racer, and Big Bumpin', on Kotaku.

Personally, I'm just wondering when they'll release Hook Up With Brooke Burke Whilst Wearing A Plastic Mask.

Burger King is releasing 3 four dollar games for the 360 (and original Xbox) before Christmas. From Kotaku:

"Sneak King" (Adventure) -- Only the King can turn an everyday act into an art form and now players can step into the King's royal shoes and use cunning stealth to sneak up behind unsuspecting people and bestow them with a delicious meal. The goal of Sneak King is to surprise hungry citizens with BURGER KING® sandwiches and other menu items throughout the day before they pass out from hunger. Whether in a logging yard, construction site, suburban neighborhood or downtown urban scene -- each rich with detail and hidden pathways -- players can hide out and earn points based on how elaborate the delivery is executed.

See the other two games, Pocket Bike Racer, and Big Bumpin', on Kotaku.

Personally, I'm just wondering when they'll release Hook Up With Brooke Burke Whilst Wearing A Plastic Mask.

He's going to see my house for the first time. There's nothing like a parent visiting to make you realize just how shitty your house looks.

He's going to be here for three days. What the hell are we going to do for that long? He doesn't go to movies. Museums are not his thing. We can do dinners, and I'm gonna try to get him to go to Two Dollar Tuesday at Scruff's. I'm open to suggestions.

He's going to see my house for the first time. There's nothing like a parent visiting to make you realize just how shitty your house looks.

He's going to be here for three days. What the hell are we going to do for that long? He doesn't go to movies. Museums are not his thing. We can do dinners, and I'm gonna try to get him to go to Two Dollar Tuesday at Scruff's. I'm open to suggestions.

Sorry there hasn't been much to read, I'll catch up soon. I've just been busy as hell.

Sorry there hasn't been much to read, I'll catch up soon. I've just been busy as hell.

I started DJing Karaoke Night at Scruffy Murphy's again. Found a good unsecured wireless connection the reaches the bar. Whee!

Maybe I should stream it of liveblog it or something next week. Hmm...

I started DJing Karaoke Night at Scruffy Murphy's again. Found a good unsecured wireless connection the reaches the bar. Whee!

Maybe I should stream it of liveblog it or something next week. Hmm...

Blinkx embeddable video walls. Keen.

Addendum: You can do them based on search results. This one's for "Scarlett Johansson," with safe search on. :(

Blinkx embeddable video walls. Keen.

Addendum: You can do them based on search results. This one's for "Scarlett Johansson," with safe search on. :(

My S.O. and I recently took in this adorable fluffy white stray kitten. I just watched her eat a gecko whole. Ewwww. The crunching, man, the crunching...(shudder).

My S.O. and I recently took in this adorable fluffy white stray kitten. I just watched her eat a gecko whole. Ewwww. The crunching, man, the crunching...(shudder).

Dial 712-858-8883, then the international number. Cool.

Note: You can only call land lines right now, no cell phones.

Dial 712-858-8883, then the international number. Cool.

Note: You can only call land lines right now, no cell phones.

So there's a contest to write one line of dialogue for Big Daddy Transformer in the upcoming movie. The oddly shaped guy at I Watch Stuff has decided that this line needs to be uttered by Optimus Prime:

"I Guess I'll Transformer Into A Truck Now."

I love this. I love this like gold diggers love Prada. Go here to vote. Note: only three days left to submit before voting begins!

Addendum: Voting has begun, and "I Guess I'll Transformer Into A Truck Now" didn't make the cut. Dammit.

Fortunately, you have many gems to pick from, including...

5. We fight together, we die together...Autobots for life.

4. Autobots, this is now Cybertron's & amp; (sic) Earth's Darkest Hour. If we don't stop the Decepticons now, all hope is lost.

3. Freedom is the right of all sentinet (sic) beings.

2. I can't explain the flames...they're just cool.

1. Bah Weep Gra-Nah Weep Ninni Bong.

Personally, I'm rooting for "Ninni Bong," but I would love to hear someone say "sentinet" on film. Go Vote!!!!!

So there's a contest to write one line of dialogue for Big Daddy Transformer in the upcoming movie. The oddly shaped guy at I Watch Stuff has decided that this line needs to be uttered by Optimus Prime:

"I Guess I'll Transformer Into A Truck Now."

I love this. I love this like gold diggers love Prada. Go here to vote. Note: only three days left to submit before voting begins!

Addendum: Voting has begun, and "I Guess I'll Transformer Into A Truck Now" didn't make the cut. Dammit.

Fortunately, you have many gems to pick from, including...

5. We fight together, we die together...Autobots for life.

4. Autobots, this is now Cybertron's & amp; (sic) Earth's Darkest Hour. If we don't stop the Decepticons now, all hope is lost.

3. Freedom is the right of all sentinet (sic) beings.

2. I can't explain the flames...they're just cool.

1. Bah Weep Gra-Nah Weep Ninni Bong.

Personally, I'm rooting for "Ninni Bong," but I would love to hear someone say "sentinet" on film. Go Vote!!!!!

I haven't laughed that hard in weeks.

via BoingBoing, who've apparently forgotten that I exist. :(

I haven't laughed that hard in weeks.

via BoingBoing, who've apparently forgotten that I exist. :(

Nope, not Grand Theft Auto. Not Doom. Not Quake or Bully or Dead Rising.

Rollercoaster Tycoon 3. Not for the faint of heart.

Nope, not Grand Theft Auto. Not Doom. Not Quake or Bully or Dead Rising.

Rollercoaster Tycoon 3. Not for the faint of heart.

Some group of guys (who I now love) are using the Half-Life 2 Engine to remake the N64 GoldenEye. Now I just need four of these.

Some group of guys (who I now love) are using the Half-Life 2 Engine to remake the N64 GoldenEye. Now I just need four of these.

I would have loved this more if it was all right angles. Tron and curves don't mix.

On a side note, kudos to ifilm for one-upping the YouTube player. That menu button is slick.

I would have loved this more if it was all right angles. Tron and curves don't mix.

On a side note, kudos to ifilm for one-upping the YouTube player. That menu button is slick.

Wow. I have posted a lot of videos lately. Can anyone say short attention span?

Wow. I have posted a lot of videos lately. Can anyone say short attention span?

This is really amazing. Three guys at Carnegie Mellon developed software that can take a 2D image and automatically extrapolate the 3D elements from it. Very cool.

Give it about a year, and you'll see this in home use. Two I can think of right off the bat:

1. Scan your home photo collection in, and display your memories in 3D. If it's the same room, have the people in the room fade from shot to shot while the room stays the same.

2. Gamers can photograph their real life surroundings and have the software stitch and render the photos into FPS maps. You could do whole apartment complexes/universities/etc. in no time.

Ooo! I thought of another one. You could integrate photos into Google Earth, and import old photos of buildings with the date in case they ever incorporate a "time travel" setting. Keen.

Gotta love technology.

Video found via Gizmodo.

This is really amazing. Three guys at Carnegie Mellon developed software that can take a 2D image and automatically extrapolate the 3D elements from it. Very cool.

Give it about a year, and you'll see this in home use. Two I can think of right off the bat:

1. Scan your home photo collection in, and display your memories in 3D. If it's the same room, have the people in the room fade from shot to shot while the room stays the same.

2. Gamers can photograph their real life surroundings and have the software stitch and render the photos into FPS maps. You could do whole apartment complexes/universities/etc. in no time.

Ooo! I thought of another one. You could integrate photos into Google Earth, and import old photos of buildings with the date in case they ever incorporate a "time travel" setting. Keen.

Gotta love technology.

Video found via Gizmodo.

The iCrib. Baby's first iPod dock. Really.

The iCrib. Baby's first iPod dock. Really.

Kate Moss and Pete Doherty never looked so pretty. From the new and potentially awesome masterpiece defacing blog Eat More Paint.

Kate Moss and Pete Doherty never looked so pretty. From the new and potentially awesome masterpiece defacing blog Eat More Paint.

via Engadget.

via Engadget.

Hayek produced Ugly Betty is my new Desperate Housewivian guilty pleasure. America Ferrera (aka Betty) is a real surprise. Half Telenovela, half American soap opera parody. Dig it.

It's a shame you can't see the first five episodes, as they have already aired (he says with a wink).

Hayek produced Ugly Betty is my new Desperate Housewivian guilty pleasure. America Ferrera (aka Betty) is a real surprise. Half Telenovela, half American soap opera parody. Dig it.

It's a shame you can't see the first five episodes, as they have already aired (he says with a wink).

Billionaire Steve Wynn bought Picasso's Le Rêve five years ago for $48 million. Two weeks ago, he sold it to a friend for $139 million, the most ever paid for any work of art. Last weekend, he had a small party at his home. The painting was still there. Wynn, talking about Picasso, walking around, gesticulating, etc., accidently put his elbow through the canvas.

You gotta wonder in one of the guests cried "party foul!"

via The New Yorker.

Billionaire Steve Wynn bought Picasso's Le Rêve five years ago for $48 million. Two weeks ago, he sold it to a friend for $139 million, the most ever paid for any work of art. Last weekend, he had a small party at his home. The painting was still there. Wynn, talking about Picasso, walking around, gesticulating, etc., accidently put his elbow through the canvas.

You gotta wonder in one of the guests cried "party foul!"

via The New Yorker.