LO2

So I got some spam today:

"le2 Bang wifeys at www.betteratstart opsy no space before com I4w76 qtf"

What the hell am I supposed to do with that? "Bang wifeys" sounds like some kind of suburban sex spree, and "no space before com" gives it a "solve the puzzle to get porn" kind of quality. Did we enter the age of Postmodern Porn? Did I miss the memo? What did it say?

"Sex to be having: Postmillennial; extra fun with left breast in truck with monkeys. Dial 555-the square root of 31719424."

Testing Movable Type's new image uploader. No real point to this post.

So I've been really sick, which pisses me off. It leaves my brain with a cloudy, unfocused feeling, and I can't get shit done. The only thing about being sick that I view as a positive is that it reminds me of how safe and comforting a baked potato can be.

Anyway, I was getting a little stir crazy in the house, so I headed to the coffee shop to do a little ultra-low-impact laptop work. There were two girls and two guys sitting on the couch across the room I was in, playing Battle of the Sexes. If you haven't seen it, it's a trivia game where guys ask girls questions about guy stuff, and vice versa. I was truly astounded at how many of the questions they couldn't answer (80%).

One of the guys asked the girls this question: "Name four of the five Marx Brothers."

She replied, "Harpo...Groucho...(long pause)...Karl?"

Made my damn day.

Group apologizes for taking three years worth of Taco Bell sauces

A group of 10 to 15 masked individuals entered Taco Bell, 3244 S. Western Ave., around 10:46 p.m. Tuesday to return a three-year stash of fire sauce packets, police say.

The group returned six 40-gallon trash bags filled with approximately, 25,000 sauce packets to the restaurant.

With the stash was a note stating that they had been accumulating the sauces over three years and kept them stored in the trunk of a vehicle, but felt guilty about keeping them and decided to return them to the restaurant.

via the Chicago Tribune.

NSFW means Not Safe For Work. People asked.

I just realized that MTV is 25 years old this month. Anyone else find it funny that MTV is now too old to be on any of its reality shows?

Probably the first in the "Hey, Snakes on a Plane is stupid, and everyone wants to see that. Let's do this stupid film and see what happens" craze certain to come from coke addled H-wood, here comes Dead Or Alive. Whee. Stills Collection Here.

And yes, that is Jaime Pressly. Way to take that awesome My Name Is Earl street cred and poop all over it.

It's official, everything is on the internet. Not just concert tickets, but records and tapes. My fantasy life begins today.

"We, the undersigned, out of love for the NIKE brand and the design of the "Back to the Future Part II" future NIKE sneakers (worn by Marty McFly played by Michael J. Fox), would like to request that NIKE create a pair of these kicks to be sold to the public. It is the strong belief of the undersigned that these future NIKE sneakers would be immensely popular and not only boost NIKE's sales but gain new fans of the NIKE brand."

When Cool Hunting mentioned this last year, there were 300 signatures. I just added #23174. If you want wear the coolest pair of sneakers in movie history, sign the petition.

Watch the folks on the left. Then watch it again for the looks on the host's face. via Kotaku.

Own a Dell Laptop that uses batteries made in the last two years? Get on the recall train for a new battery before yours goes explosivo! Click the flaming laptop for free battery goodness.

As the general population of our country gets progressively fatter and more bizarre looking, the women who show up at [book] readings maintain a smart, European glam-nerd aesthetic that heartens the pen wielder and binds him to his lonesome vocation.
Gary Shteyngart, author of Absurdistan

My artist friend Shay Scranton (aka Negative) has a kind of a "bastard child of Food One and Jamie Hewlett" thing going on, and I'm a big fan. His only problem is his inability/unwillingness to promote himself, so I'm going to do so from time to time. These are pages from a Vogue (Vague) Magazine he was doodling in because he was bored. They're all neat in they're own way, but the last two are brilliant. Click images for high-res versions.

I'll be posting some of his far more detailed sketches soon. Please post comments if you find his stuff interesting.

"Mr. Cobb, how are you doing?" I asked James Cobb, a lawyer in New Orleans, Louisiana.

"It depends on what you mean," Mr. Cobb answered. "If you mean how am I doing after losing my house and every fucking thing in it, and after being forced to live in a two-bedroom shithole with my wife and two kids and being told how lucky I am to get it, and after being fucked—and I mean absolutely fucked—by my insurance company and by the United States government (and by the way, just so you know, if anybody from New Orleans, Louisiana tells you that they're not getting fucked by their insurance company and by the United States government, they're fucking lying, all right?)...if you mean, how am I doing after all that is factored in: Well, I guess the answer is that I'm doing fine. Now, how can I help you?"
The author's first exchange of words with James Cobb. From "The Loved Ones" by Tom Junod (Esquire Magazine, September 2006, Volume 146, Issue 3)

I never heard of this before, and it's awesome. Apparently, in the heyday of the hobo (circa 1930), a popular way for them to raise cash was to carve totally new images into one side of a nickel and sell it folks at train stops, etc. There's even a collector's society and quite a bit of eBay business (tip: the "Bart Simpson" ones are probably fake).

It sure beats the hell out of "how about a quarter, buddy," or my perrenial favorite, "I'm out of gas."

via Pennylicious.

And I mean bad. Not bad in that fun, lots of quotable lines, hilarious kind of badness. Just really really bad. Ultraviolet makes Matrix Reloaded look like Citizen Kane. Bad.

I wouldn't have bothered mentioning it, but its on the DVD sales top 20, and I want you to save your money. Don't even rent. That's two hours you'll never get back.

via Aeropause.

To be released with Half Life 2: Episode 2, Spring 2007.

Addendum: Gameplay footage.

via Destructoid.

The petition for the Back to the Future II Nikes I mentioned earlier now has a commercial. Dig it.

via AC.