One of the reasons I became an actor was that I'd heard you could meet queers in the British theatre. And it's true. Thank goodness.
Sir Ian McKellen
Bar staff complaining that passive smoking poses a health risk to them. So your job is to cajole people to buy tasty poison, break up fights, get bottled, mop up spew, breathe in old mens' aspirated diseases as they bellow for more beer over the counter, deal with a dozen different kinds of physical assault -- and it's passive smoking that's a threat to your health? You don't need new laws -- you need new jobs. (No, this has nothing to do with the web. Shut up.)
Warren Ellis, on things he hates about the web
I Don't. Buy the tomatoes with. The stems. On them. They don't. Degrade. They go. Down the sink. And into the water. Then. They get lodged in the throats of little. Otters.
Christopher Walken
And when people refer to something "smelling like sex," they are most likely responding to the classic combination of sweat, semen, vaginal fluid, strawberry wine, Lysol, an sometimes, if you're very lucky, a little hope.
Stacy Grenrock Woods
McMahon wondered if he should follow the crabs out to sea. He took a deep breath. He started talking to himself. "I gotta get outta here," he said. "Crabs are talking to me. When a crab talks, it's time to go home."
Robert Kurson, Shadow Divers